this post was submitted on 08 Aug 2024
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[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago (1 children)

All normal guys talk about sucking dicks with Mamaw. If only he had actually listened to her

"I'll never forget the time I convinced myself that I was gay. I was eight or nine, maybe younger, and I stumbled upon a broadcast by some fire-and-brimstone preacher. The man spoke about the evils of homosexuals, how they had infiltrated our society, and how they were all destined for hell absent some serious repenting. At the time, the only thing I knew about gay men was that they preferred men to women. This described me perfectly: I disliked girls, and my best friend in the world was my buddy Bill. Oh no, I'm going to hell."

When he brought up the issue with his grandmother — known to Vance as "Mamaw" — she replied bluntly: "Don't be a fucking idiot, how would you know that you're gay?"

When Vance explained his reasoning, she laughed.

"JD, do you want to suck dicks?" she said, according to the book.

The young Vance, apparently "flabbergasted," said: "Of course not!"

"Then you're not gay. And even if you did want to suck dicks, that would be okay," she replied. "God would still love you."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

This is either a story about a guy fooling himself and lying to grandma, or a story about a guy who accepts his subjective narrative as truth despite objective evidence to the contrary; too bad meemaw doesn't know about policy or jurisprudence, only dicks.