this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Weirdly, though, he can't just snap his fingers and make Satan vanish.

I guess he's not that omnipotent.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Uh no, he's super horny for torture

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Yeah, but evangelicals also think Satan does all sorts of trickery on Earth all the time to thwart God. Which God somehow lets happen.

And then, of course, there's the fact that people can hurt their omnipotent god by doing things like saying "fuck" or kissing someone of their own gender. The god that's also omniscient, so he would have seen it coming before he did all the light let there being.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Satan has to exist. Otherwise they would be responsible for the fucked up shit that they do.

I'm a good Christian. I only did a shit ton of drugs and orgies because SATAN made me do it. I can't go to hell because of what the devil did in my body. I can atone with god and he will clear my soul of wrongdoing. And then I can walk around in public without shame again.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

The best part is all you have to do is say you're sorry and you go to heaven. Then you just do more drugs and have more sex and then just say you're sorry again... works every time!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

God is secretly horny for all that shit, He's Satan's bottom.

He's just repressed, like a Republican senator.

Weird how we all make gods in our own image

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That and I think their god hates them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Well yeah, they hate themselves

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I’m firmly convinced that Christianity can be broken into polytheistic (folk Catholics especially), dualistic (everyone screaming about the devil), and monotheistic (all Christians are influenced by it and so any individual Christian may be). The dualists scare me

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Q totally could. Praise be you big weirdo

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 month ago

Yeah, but The Sisko can knock him on his ass

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well he can, but he doesn't because, uh... Because it's all part of his plan. Kinda like kids getting cancer, or natural disasters.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I thought gay sex caused natural disasters.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

Them damn liberals with their gay sex, causin' natural disasters in my pants.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

it's true and honestly really inconvenient. I keep trying to kiss my gf but we're always interrupted by tornado sirens. How are we supposed to groom any kids into our satanic sex cult under these conditions??