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Abuse is abuse rule (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] Dyskolos 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I hear you. I'm working voluntarily with (mostly) women who were abused horribly. Also mostly from an early child's age on to the point of being utterly broken. Fear of men is not only officially a thing in the ICD but also more or less the norm amongst those. The prejudice against me (2m wardrobe with a resting bitch face) is always palpable and always takes so much time to gain trust. Sometimes it's just impossible and that's very sad.

Long story short: yes. It's easy to prejudge men to be abusers. Sadly because most abuser probably are men. But it's also important to be able to see that not all of us are.

Also sorry to hear that. And i can totally see that happening...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I can understand it in those that have been abused, even if I disagree. And I suppose unfortunately that is such a huge portion of people, especially women. I even see it in myself - despite seeing the reasons, I can't help but feel at least a little concern when I pass a man in the street. I mean, I feel a little when I pass women too, but it's a very different fear. From men I fear violence, from women only rejection or disrespect.

It seems an impossible situation, another cycle of abuse. I hope we can find a way out, but I don't know at all what it is.

[–] Dyskolos 1 points 2 weeks ago

It's ok to feel concern or be worried if a man passes. In the end, we ARE the violent ones in tendency. What matters is ones own safety. As long as one is able and willing to look behind his/her prejudice ( i dislike the negative connotations this word has) there is no harm done at all. That's the tiny but important difference between being careful and a sexist 😉

And there rarely is a way out of abuse. It will always be there 😕