this post was submitted on 01 Feb 2024
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Your mom etc etc obligatory
Honestly though, learning, obsessing, diving deep into a fictional world. I love learning all things whether it be my academic studies (physics), random subjects that will never influence my life like why chlorophyll is green which is way more interesting than I expected, and political theory. I love obsessing over subjects such as those for months at a time and learning everything I can fit into that incredibly short period. I love diving so deep into a fictional universe that I end up with nothing left, I want to know every intricacy, every detail until eventually there is nothing left except my own personal theories. A great example of this is The Magnus Archives, it's such a fantastically constructed world of horror and mystery where I can find a missed detail with every listen. I've listened to the entire series including the q&as 3 times now and I loved every second. My favorite feeling though, what I love most, is not knowing. I crave the hunt for information, I crave the onset of obsession, the manic desire to do nothing but absorb every minute detail.
I remember as a kid reading late into the night, as late as 4am at the age of maybe 10 possibly less. Then I'd go to school and read some more. I'd plow through book after book at a rate I still can't match and at one rivaled by few of my peers. we had a wall of reading scores based on short quizzes you'd take about a book you read, I was never less than top 10 even including the grades above mine at the time. Looking back I think it was escapism but I don't regret it. It fostered in me a wonder, though much more dim, is still yet to fizzle out. Sometimes I do worry that I'd be much more satisfied with the mundanity of our reality had I not consumed so much escapist fiction as a child. However, I don't think there's much use in dwelling on what may or may not have been.
I hope my love for discovery was evident in my rambling, it's 6 am and I haven't slept again so it might not be all that coherent.
I can relate with the passion for learning. I think that is so invigorating. Since you like physics and reading, if you haven’t already, I would highly recommend Project Hail Mary and Artemis, each by Andy Weir. He is an astrophysicist, so his works occur how they would likely physically happen as we understand physics currently. Super neat but different plots for each.