Ask Lemmy

My last bite should be of my favorite part of the meal. Finish my least favorite part first.

The greatest compliment I can pay a meal is that I couldn’t choose which part to make my last bite.

Food should be finished at the same time. You work gradually around all of your sides and main dish so you have exactly one bite of each left, and then you finish your plate.

My SO drives me nuts because they can just eat the entirety of the main dish and then eat all of one side, and then all of another.

Food cannot touch on the plate. Each item must have a clearly defined DMZ between it and its neighbors.

A bite is not good unless it has a little of each thing on my plate. The flavors must all be in every bite.

Any time I buy chips and dip I have to always work from the top of the dip down, trying to keep it level all the way down. I have no idea why I do this, but it drives me crazy otherwise. If someone else takes a chip and digs straight down to the bottom of the tub I just don't want it anymore lol

Absolutely no digging in to the tub of butter, and no other food bits (usually bread crumbs) must be left inside.

If dug in to, it must be smoothed out before putting back in to the fridge. As for the crumbs, take them out and put them back on to the bread they came from. Now the butter can be put back in to the fridge.

How good pickles are is inversely proportional to how whole they are.

• Whole pickles: blegh
• Pickle wedges: no thanks
• Pickle strips: on a sandwich, sure
• Pickle chips: yum, on a sandwich or alone
• Diced pickles: oh yeah, please
• Pickle relish: hell yeah!

When I eat soft candies, I always have to bite them into pieces in a specific way. Like if I have a cola bottle gummy, I will bite off the "cap" first. If I have a gummy bear, I will bite the bottom legs off, separate the head from the arms and then split the legs and arms from each other. The gummy cherries, always bite the stem off first. Gummy bats, the wings separate from the body. Gummy coins I usually try to split down the circle, i.e. splitting in two thinner coins.

Most of the time it's just inside my mouth but sometimes I hold it in my hand and bite it off like that.

Also chocolate bars has to be eaten in the squares the bar is divided into. No splitting it across squares!

Corn on the cob must be eaten from left to right. You must eat all the way around the cob so that section is clean before moving on to the next section. I suppose I'd accept right to left in the same fashion; it's the people who take totally random bites with no rhyme or reason or uniformity that make me crazy.

I briefly microwave my ice cream before eating.

I don't want it to be soupy. I'm going for soft. And I am too impatient to let it sit on the counter a bit to reach that sweet spot of consistency.

There is no 5 second rule. If it touches the floor it's literally inedible.

Sandwiches are eaten like a typewriter. It drives my partner bonkers, she says I'm nuts....jokes on her, she's still hanging around 😂

I will eat all of the chocolatey edges of a Kit Kat before I start to eat the wafer bit that’s left with just two thin layers on top and bottom at that point.

I don't hate crust but I prefer the texture of a sandwich without the crust, so I eat most of the crust before eating the rest of the sandwich... I usually only do this when eating alone lol

When it comes to things like chocolate bars, cookies, brownies, pop-tarts, ect., I almost always pop them in the freezer for a bit because it changes the texture.

Cookies/brownies with chocolate chips/m&ms are the best for this, because the chips get crunchy, while the cookie part is chewier.

The only weird one I have is that I can't do cereal and milk. 100% rate of vomiting resulted the two times I tried. I grew up on dry cereal and will, for all roughly two times a year I eat it, continue that. No, I'm not interested in adding water/ice/juice; that's just making wet bread with extra steps. Doesn't bother me that others do it.

Being poor and living out of a car in my early 20s for a bit rid me of any childish restrictions otherwise.

Everything gets cut up before a pan gets turned on.

No plastic in the microwave. (Ceramics and glass only)

Range has to be clean before and after cooking.

Edit to add - can't believe I forgot this. I'll eat any leftovers cold and any fully cooked soup or chili cold too. I just don't care.

My wife pours the milk into an empty bowl then brings the cereal box to her seat and pours it in one spoonful at a time. She insists this makes sense to do, and it's the only way she'll eat cereal.

The 200-mile rule. Sushi is amazing but raw fish has to be trasnported somehow. If your eating seafood and are not within 200 miles of a body of water where it could have been caught... Probably best to pick something else.

Montana is not famous for its aquatic cusine.

And I too do the peanutbutter thing you mentioned.

I must eat from a small plate to make my little food seem big. NO BIG PLATES ALLOWED!

A colleague of mine cannot allow beans to touch some other foods on their plate. So in an English breakfast for example, they require some kind of bean barrier, such as a sausage, to prevent the beans from touching other elements of food on their plate. I find this weird.

If I can't eat a combination of the main dish and a side, the side doesn't go with the main dish. Lucky for me, that is generally the case with most foods.

Desserts are the exception, but I don't count them as sides.

Asparagus is finger food, no ifs or buts about it.

Soup is not food.