Don't worry, the snail mail man got some extensive reconstructive surgery and is looking better than ever. He came by the store today and slimed all over the shirts and mugs:
I was on holiday once and the house we were staying in had wooden shutters on the outside of the window. When we went to bed in the evening there were 2 big snails sitting on the window frame. In order not to kill the snails with the shutters, I carefully picked them up and placed them on the side where they would be safe. I made sure to pick them up, letting them release on their own time and setting them down waiting for them to stick before letting go as to not drop them 2 stories down.
In the morning I went to open up the shutters again and to my horror heard a huge crunching noise as I opened them. Turns out the snails had made their way back to the window frame on the outside of the shutters. As I opened the shutters I killed the snails by crushing them. And not just one of them, both. My wife looked at me in horror and shouted murderer! We both had a good laugh about it but I still feel bad for those poor snails.