I’ll sound like an old man but…Go outside!
Steam and YouTube are good sources of entertainment but use them in moderation. Because they’re fleeting and ultimately unfulfilling. There are hundreds of other ways to spend your time.
this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2023
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This isn't meant to be a criticism of your post, but as someone who fades in and out of this situation I want to say: "go outside" is not overly helpful advice for people in this situation. I've tried going outside but without a goal to fulfill or any idea of how "normal people" have fun, it's a struggle to make it feel any less empty than being at home. Obviously it's not your job to write a book-length guide on how to live a fulfilling life though, so carry on.
Right? "Go outside!" AND THEN DO WHAT, MOTHERFUCKER? Just be depressed outside??
People have this weird idea that because they like being outside, that it must be some sort of cure-all for depression. They also seem to think that being sad is the same as depression.
Seeing green spaces does have an impact on our ability to self regulate, which is helpful for both sadness and depression, but the advice is not formulated well. I have adhd, so my version would be “make getting outside the most important thing, guilt yourself for hours, force yourself finally, then go for an aimless three hour walk that does actually really help with eating and sleeping regularly, then build from there.” That’s obviously fucking nuts to say to someone else, so people say go outside instead
I didn't mean to imply that it can't be helpful, just that it isn't just that simple for a lot of people. Same as most other not incredibly helpful suggestions like "go hang out with some friends" "see a movie" or "go to the bar" when (in my case) part of the problem was explicitly not being able to do those things for one reason or another.
I didn’t think you did, you’re good!
I think it’s just a hard social interaction, where a person knows that this is generally helpful to the problem, they want to help, but they can’t really be helpful unless they know the person incredibly well. They don’t want to say nothing, and what they should actually do (agree that the situation sucks, ask the person how they can help, be nonjudgmental when listening, and be willing to sit with them, help them with chores, or call them on a random Tuesday for coffee), feels like both too much and too little.
It’s the same problem when someone is going through a breakup or otherwise grieving, but for some reason, depression, chronic illness, and large weight loss, which are less commonly experienced and more personalized, attract a lot of this type of advice. A friend of mine at one point gained about 30 kilos while on chemotherapy for bone cancer, which is nuts, and she was working with several doctors on that, along with every other aspect of her life. Still, she was constantly given unprompted advice about how to incorporate lean meats and leafy greens into her diet. It might be generally good weight loss advice, but she only had 30% of her jawbone left.
Set yourself a goal for some place to walk, could be a park, a lake, a gas station, doesn't matter. The most important thing is that it takes you a reasonable amount of time to get there and back again (preferably at least an hour). You can listen to music or a podcast or an audiobook while you walk if you want to.
The point is that your body responds positively to a lot of different stimuli:
- moving
- open spaces
- natural light
- green things
Among others. You don't have to do "anything specific" in order to get those stimuli and get your endorphins flowing. Once that happens, people typically start feeling happier, and get more of a desire to do other things, making it easier to do more cool things.
Go to a park. Look at some trees. So tall and wavy. Go up and touch their bark. Heck, why not climb up a bit? Climb all the way to the top. Take off your clothes and make a nest of leaves in the nook of a high branch. It is your tree now, nobody can take it away from you. Let loose a loud screech of "ook ook" to let everyone know.
Once that happens, people typically start feeling happier, and get more of a desire to do other things, making it easier to do more cool things.
You overestimate my power!
Haha, I hope not :)
Joke aside though: I understand that what I'm outlining isn't some magic "fix all", and that some people are in a situation where even getting out of their chair/bed and moving to the door is an accomplishment. I'm afraid those people need more help than I can give, and I wish them the best of luck.
However, for those that can get just a litte movement outside, it's been shown that doing so helps. My point is that you don't need anything specific to do outside. Once you set the goal of just being outside, moving and breathing, the "things to do" will come more naturally. The most important part is getting started by trying to accomplish something like walking around the block, and take things one step at a time.
I am lucky to live in a house with a yard (where I've had to water garden plants daily) and near a trail (I've ridden 130+ miles on my weak-but-geared ebike, mostly shorter trips though) but there isn't much for me to do around that I'm aware of, especially viable without a car and without spending money.
So that's why I think external factors are a bigger part. I even did go on a more-than-an-hour trip and it didn't magically 'click'. Though I had to recover for a few days afterwards (and weather, including heat/sun is a common thing stopping me, also places that aren't open in the afternoon). Also that and even shorter grocery trips I feel shorted (both for what I did and did not buy) due to high prices.
Though it's hard measuring status especially longer-term with added complexity. It's entirely possible not doing the things would make things feel even worse, but there's no reliable way to actually tell.
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I have bad joints, man. A walk isn't as relaxing when you've got the knees of an old man. Especially not when everything in both directions of your house is, quite literally, uphill both ways 😭
Ouff, I'm sorry about your knees.. I don't know if biking is any better either then? Otherwise, as others have said, it can be nice to just sit outside and read a book, or just lie down, look at the sky, and listen to something for an hour.
It's just that being inside in one place all the time, constantly looking at the same screen, is bad for us. Evolution has built us for more varied stimulus than that, and pretty much anything that breaks it up is probably better than nothing. Wish you well :)
Now I am depressed and hot.
At least you are hot
I've learned to at very least I can go outside and just be in the sunlight for a while every day. For me personally it often involves messing around in my garden for a few minutes or going for a walk. If you aren't able to do that mentally or physically then just sit outside on your porch or something and just be there observing the world. None of this stuff is a cure all but this is such a minimal thing that anyone can do and for some reason I feel a little bit better that day.
Create something. If you like games, learn to program and create them. Start with something small and easy like a basic platformer in Game Maker Studio. When you only consume and create nothing, you actually create depression.
But that's the problem. You can't. You physically don't have enough energy and motivation to do anything. Everything is boring and when you force yourself to do something, it's shit. The problem is that you can't enjoy anything and just feel shit and bored all the time.
This used to be me until I got diagnosed with ADD. Medication pretty much solved the issue completely.
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Lol, dude's not able to find the strength to play, you tell him to learn to program
It's mostly just reading.
Easier said than done, or "My goodness, what an idea! Why didn't I think of that? Just create something."
Particularly with learning curve (and needing to assess things) while lacking creativity(/ideas), motivation, energy, good status etc.
That, and it's easy for things beyond your control to change things. Destroying your interest in said creating (even if you've made something complete), turn it into lurking (waiting for someone else to make certain changes), or requiring finding a different avenue for creation.
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Huh. Maybe I have depression.
Might also be undiagnosed ADD/ADHD, which in general is a lot easier to treat than pure depression.
Untreated ADHD can come with depression in the long run, and it'll be harder to treat, because instead of one issue, you have two issues.
SzPD (Schizoid Personality Disorder) also has some overlap with both of those.
Possibly. Is it manageable or do you need someone to talk to?
It depends on your struggles. In my case, medication is not enough to deal with executive dysfunction, and that's why I'm waiting for therapy.
I feel like I may be coming to that point. It's been hard to find and schedule a therapist, ironically.
then be exhausted at 7pm
Fall asleep at 4am
Productive day
Only idiots open chrome and write "google.com" in the address bar
Can relate.
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