this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
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Asklemmy

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NO LOLLYGAGGIN

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

THIS, RECRUITS, IS A 20 KILO FEROUS SLUG. FEEL THE WEIGHT! EVERY FIVE SECONDS, THE MAIN GUN OF AN EVEREST-CLASS DREADNOUGHT ACCELERATES ONE, TO ONE-POINT-THREE PERCENT OF LIGHTSPEED. IT IMPACTS WITH THE FORCE A 38 KILOTON BOMB. THAT IS THREE TIMES THE YIELD OF THE CITY BUSTER DROPPED ON HIROSHIMA BACK ON EARTH. THAT MEANS, SIR ISACC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SON-OF-A-BITCH IN SPACE! NOW! SERVICEMAN BURNSIDE, WHAT IS NEWTON'S FIRST LAW?

SIR! AN OBJECT IN MOTION STAYS IN MOTION, SIR!

NO CREDIT FOR PARTIAL ANSWERS MAGGOT!

SIR! UNLESS ACTED ON BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE, SIR!

DAMN STRAIGHT! I DARE TO ASSUME YOU IGNORANT JACKASSES KNOW THAT SPACE IS EMPTY. ONCE YOU FIRE THIS HUNK OF METAL, IT KEEPS GOING 'TIL IT HITS SOMETHING. THAT CAN BE A SHIP, OR THE PLANET BEHIND THAT SHIP. IT MIGHT GO OFF INTO DEEP SPACE AND HIT SOMEBODY ELSE IN 10,000 YEARS! IF YOU PULL THE TRIGGER ON THIS, YOU ARE RUINING SOMEONES DAY! SOMEWHERE AND SOMETIME! THAT IS WHY YOU CHECK YOUR DAMN TARGETS! THAT IS WHY YOU WAIT 'TIL THE COMPUTER GIVES YOU A DAMN FIRING SOLUTION. THAT IS WHY, SERVICEMAN CHUNG, WE DO NOT 'EYEBALL IT'. THIS IS A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION! YOU ARE NOT A COWBOY, SHOOTING FROM THE HIP!

SIR, YES SIR!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

GUARDIANS MAKE THEIR OWN FATE

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I'M A MIGHTY PIRATE!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

NEED A DISPENSER HERE!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

DO NOT DESTROY VITAL TESTING APPARATUS

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"WHY DID I FOLLOW HIM...? I DON'T KNOW. WHY DO THINGS HAPPEN AS THEY DO IN DREAMS? ALL I KNOW IS THAT, WHEN HE BECKONED... I HAD TO FOLLOW HIM. FROM THAT MOMENT, WE TRAVELED TOGETHER, EAST. ALWAYS... INTO THE EAST."

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)

SCIENCE COMPELLS US TO EXPLODE THE SUN

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

β€œTHAT’S THE SECOND BIGGEST MONKEY HEAD I’VE EVER SEEN!”

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

EXPLOSIONSβ€½

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

MY NAMEEEEE IS GYOBU MASATAKA ONIWA!!!!!!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

ROCK AND STONE TO THE BONE!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

CATCH A RIDE!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

KAIRI'S INSIDE ME?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

DOOR STUCK!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

WORMSIGN SPOTTED!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

YOU SPOONY BARD!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I FEEL IT! I FEEL THE COSMOS

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

THAT'S A NICE HEAD YOU HAVE ON YOUR SHOULDERS

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

YOUR HOME BED WAS MISSING OR OBSTRUCTED

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

THE WORST OF TIMES ARE WHEN LAWYERS HAVE TO FORCE THEIR BIGGEST SMILES!!!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

DO A BARREL ROLL!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

GO FOR THE EYES BOO! GO FOR THE EYES! RAAAARGH

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

MISSILE MISSILE! STALL WARNING! PULL UP!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

AAH, KOS, OR SOME SAY KOSM... DO YOU HEAR OUR PRAYERS? AS YOU ONCE DID FOR THE VACUOUS ROM, GRANT US EYES, GRANT US EYES! PLANT EYES ON OUR BRAINS TO CLEANSE OUR BEASTLY IDIOCY!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

MAJESTIC! A HUNTER IS A HUNTER EVEN IN A DREAM.

AWWWWOOOOOOO

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

DEFINITION: 'LOVE' IS MAKING A SHOT TO THE KNEES OF A TARGET 120 KILOMETERS AWAY USING AN ARATECH SNIPER RIFLE WITH A TRI-LIGHT SCOPE. LOVE IS KNOWING YOUR TARGET, PUTTING THEM IN YOUR TARGETING RETICULE, AND TOGETHER, ACHIEVING A SINGULAR PURPOSE AGAINST STATISTICALLY LONG ODDS.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

VOODOO 1, VIPER'S ON STATION. YOUR JOURNEY ENDS HERE, PILOT. THE SKIES BELONG TO ME. NOWHERE TO RUN, NOWHERE TO HIDE.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS NO POINT IN LIVING. CRY, THAT THERE IS NO ANSWER!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

NO. "VAMP" ISN'T FOR "VAMPIRE", IT'S BECAUSE HE'S BISEXUAL.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I AM HERE TO ASK YOU ONE QUESTION AND ONE QUESTION ONLY: EXPLOSIONS?!?!?!?!?

  • MISTER TORGUE
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