Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.
This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.
CODE OF LAWS
1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.
2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.
3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.
4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.
5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.
6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.
Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.
Is your name Biggus Dickus by any chance?
Bigus dickus prefect of Judea, crazy to have someone famous posting on social media. It is not solely the peasentry who uses it I see.
No one cares what helmet you wear, dickhead.
Helmets are pretty much only good to protect you from a stray arrow or two, but shields are where it's at.
You're not going to turn an Assyrian blade with your helmet, are you? No, you're not.
Pick up a buckler, slap your cock helmet on and let's go to war, brother!
Notice how you’re still alive to talk about people laughing at your helmet? That’s a good thing.
3/4 helmets are for people who don't care about their chins. Full face or GTFO.
I want to create a whole backstory about a Smith who was wronged by a lord and made him this ceremonial helmet as a gift and presented it at a formal ceremony
The only problem is that there's a pretty solid chance this was by special request. Maybe the smith in your story gives it to the lord and the lord just thinks it's awesome. His enemies will tremble before his erect and throbbing masculinity!
Nothing more... interesting than a giant cock running across the battlefield.
Confirming the opinions of every peasant on the field
"I was wearing protection!"
It's missing the big white feather you're supposed to put on the top.
Looks, it's Biggus Dickus!!!
That reminds me. It's time to polish my helmet. Anyone want to lend a hand?
I imagine this actually goes on the penis. I don't care if it's true. Gold dick caps seem rad
Is your name Richard cranium?
dickhead
Looks like someone is compensating for something...