this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2024
206 points (87.3% liked)

Greentext

4494 readers
794 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 25 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 months ago (1 children)

God damn, imagine beating your own meat that into it. I dont think I've ever been gruntin' and shit while jorkin'

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Try adding butt play into things. Seriously. Takes it to a whole new level.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

100%, discovering butt stuffing was a life changing moment for me. Though be very aware sex toy materials in the US aren't regulated, it's perfectly legal to sell you a toy that will give you ass cancer. If it says for novelty use only or something similar, listen to it. Look for platinum cure or medical grade silicone, glass, or stainless steel. Avoid TPE and PVC at all costs. Lube wise, get xLube/kLube powder and make it yourself, WAY more cost effective than buying it already in liquid form and it won't have any irritants, like glycol, which many water based lubes include that actually acts as a laxative when in your ass, making for a much less pleasant experience. If you're looking for something longer lasting or for shower use, coconut oil is also good. Still pretty easy to clean up but is a lot more water resistant and doesn't really dry out. It does stain a bit though, so keep that in mind.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

Look for platinum cure or medical grade silicone, glass, or stainless steel. Avoid TPE and PVC at all costs.

And shop online. Your local sex store worker likely doesn't know very much about the individual products, and will tell you whatever you want to hear. Any product listing on a website will absolutely divulge every secret there is to know about it, and beg me for the privilege of my purchase. If you absolutely want to buy in person, go after you've looked up the product online.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

doing that does get me suppressing moans

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's crazy to me that some men haven't shoved things in their ass. Like half of male sexual pleasure is up your butt.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

Anything worth trying is worth trying 47 times

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I'm on that level and still don't really feel the impulse to make sound.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

in-class bathroom that you can hear through from the regular classroom…? wtf?

is this a regular occurrence in burgerland?

[–] [email protected] 35 points 2 months ago (1 children)

The Classroom bathroom introduced in most american public schools was modeled after the prisoncell bathroom due to the lack of privacy and low cost.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (5 children)

Wait, this is actually a thing?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago

I've only seen them in elementary school classes where students tend to stay in the same class most of the day. But in middle and highschools there is usually a more traditional multi stall bathroom shared with multiple classrooms.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Not in any school I've been to.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

In the school district i work in, elementary schools have bathrooms in the kindergarten rooms, never seen one in a high school though

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

No, only in elementary schools.

What they're getting confused about is that a lot of architecture firms that design prisons also design high schools because - shockingly - both of those institutions are designed around moving large numbers of people to different areas throughout the day.

My high school was designed by one of those firms and it wasn't weird. You could see it in the little details, though. There were exactly two places in any of the hallways where you couldn't see a clock, so nobody could say they ran late because they didn't know what time it was. The architects just decided where they would place cameras in a prison and swapped them out for digital clocks.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Wasn't for me but that was 20 years ago

[–] [email protected] 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Record girls to jackoff at school? What does that mean?

[–] GregorGizeh 61 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Record girls (at school) to jack off to (later)" i would guess. mega fucked

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago

Nah I think the OP was pretty clear there was only jorkin and no fuckin /s

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 months ago

Bro is the goofiest gooner