this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2024
1199 points (95.6% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26961 readers
3465 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 46 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 77 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Ooooh, America bad, they're shooting their obese healthcare again.

Jokes on you, he's not shooting the fish, he's shooting the woke rainbow. Get it straight.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I've seen "joke's on you" written dozens of times, but absolutely everybody misses the apostrophe WTF

[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Jokes on you, a plural amount of them, must be what they mean. Where are the rest of the jokes motherfuckers!?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Perhaps he is addressing the jokes directly.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

Jokes on you, there ain't no apostrophe

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

That was a[n unspecified] quantity of jokes.

Like 5, 6… maybe 7!… jokes on you.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

I've seen "joke's on you" written dozens of times, but absolutely everybody misses the apostrophe WTF

American education system.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

And if some of the fish happen to get killed in the process, that's just a bonus.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This is just shameful. You are a bad person and you should feel bad. Also, I shared this with like 10 people already.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Dude. You can't shame me into feeling bad. That's my mother's job, and she's FANTASTIC at it.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

She's fantastic at another job as well. 😉

[–] tigeruppercut 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

No, a blowjob. Yeah, she really knows how to work that leafblower to get the sidewalks clean.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 10 months ago

This joke is so old it statistically won't die in a school shooting

[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago (1 children)

To be fair, if some fish had guns and used them in self defense it would absolutely stop me from ever fishing again.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

There's a kind of fish called an archerfish that shoots jets of water from it's mouth at insects to knock them down. Those ones probably have the mental capacity for calculating trajectories to at least aim one I imagine, if you gave them a weapon modified with some kind of mechanism for one to fire it

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Archerfish have NOTHING on mantis shrimp, though:

Source: The Oatmeal

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

😘👌 🤣

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Their punch contains 1500 Newtons of force, which shows how much of a sissy punch Newton must have had.

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Eh, the police fish would just keep all the good armed fish out of the area.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

All the popular fishing areas with dense populations would get marked as "gun free zones" to make it easier for the fishermen.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

…you called?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

swimming in thoughts and prayers

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I know this is a shit post but in case anyone doesn't know: never shoot bullets at water.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Not a 'murican so have no experience with firearms - what's the danger here? Ricochets off the water?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

There's that, there's also just that they don't go in very far, doesn't work very well.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

That's why Supply Side Jesus sells grenades

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Steven Spielberg made a movie about the good fish in the '70s. It didn't go well for the fish.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

You just need to rebuild the stream so it's more like a prison, job done.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Catfish? Nah

Gatfish

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Haha, but like wtf?