this post was submitted on 30 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 18 comments
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[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (2 children)

From the moment I understood the weakness of my bread, it disgusted me. I craved the energy and sweetness of sugar.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I aspired to the purity of simple carbs.
Your kind, cling to their complex carbohydrates. As though they will not break down and fatten you. One day the diet you call balanced will starve you, and you will beg my kind to save you.
But I am already saved...

Because sucrose is eternal.

Even in death I serve the Nomnissiah.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

The Omnomnomissiah?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The body of Christ: black on the outside, white on the inside

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The body of Christ now has a sweet creamy center just like me!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

You’re ready to let Jesus inside you.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"Jesus is coming!"

I damn well hope so. He's been edging for 2,000 years.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

The rapture is starting to smell very sticky.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

But it's gonna feel.... Incredible.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

I'm replaying Deus Ex right now, and I'm baffled the devs forgot to include this

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

We gotta replace the wine with milk.

Which has some concerning implications

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

What's to question? The lord clearly has a sweet set of big mommy milkers. Was this not made clear by the phrase "Jesus tittyfucking Christ"?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

There are also 12 templar crosses. I did not find an anagram for "OREO" in Latin, nor is it "INRI" transposed directly in alphabet, but there might be something to force there. Both being four-letter words with same beginning and end and all.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Damnit....now I just want to eat some Oreos.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Wait, so christians couldn’t figure this out? Guess we’re the new christians, kids.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

This is one of the best memes I’ve seen all year.