Greatest Generation

When T’Pol takes the fall for the Andorians attacking P’Jem, Captain Archer’s final attempt at a hang gets them both kidnapped by rebels. But when the crew’s rescue mission gets Tucker and Reed jumped too, Shran’s sense of indebtedness pays out double for the Entrepreneur. What heightens the urgency of being tied up with a colleague? Which food prep is best left to the professionals? How do you save money on a casket? It’s the episode that rockets Worf to the middle.

When the Audrey 2’s low-fuel light comes on, the fleet sends out Raptors to search for tylium ore. But when they find a Cylon base in the way of their objective, Starbuck learns how to delegate so Apollo can carefully blow up the damn refinery. Does Assistant Cousin Greg have a last name? Who has the reddest shirt on Battlestar Galactica? What’s one good thing about Elosha’s job? It’s the episode that’s going full barn!

When the Entrepreneur finds an alien ship sinking into a gas giant,  the away team gets trapped in its gravity well due mostly to Captain Archer’s general thirstiness. But when his white knight routine doesn’t work out (again), finally doing his Klingon homework gives him the upper hand. Which is the only black void on the NX-01? What gets Porthos off? Where are all the brass instruments? It’s the episode that’s misophones vs. everybody.

When Dr. Baltar finally produces his Cylon detector, suspicion at the top delays the first set of test results. But when a surprise reunion pushes Colonel Tigh off the wagon, an unexpected new element sours the comedy broth. What’s not very practical aboard the Audrey 2? Does this story propose a new reason to keep #datgap? Has Ben reached his Baltar saturation point? It’s the episode that’s not kink shaming anyone.

When the Entrepreneur hails a ship that doesn’t respond, Captain Archer decides to grab the sickly aliens aboard and bring them back for treatment. But when the cure for their genetic malaise creates an ethical dilemma, Dr. Phlox has his first professional disagreement with Captain Archer. How do you get a Doctor into your social circle? What’s not a good reason to get into a relationship? Who was on vacation during this production? It’s the episode without any writhing, legions, or pustules.

When the fleet catches a Leoben on the Gemenon Traveler, Starbuck gets assigned to interrogate him with an extremely specific bucket. But after President Roslin wakes up wet from one too many NyQil dreams, she hears Leoben out before returning to Commander Adama’s position. What doesn’t belong on a postage stamp? Where did H.R. Giger get all his ideas? Who definitely deserves a swirly? It’s the episode that’s fucking with us like the Cylons are fucking with humans.

When Captain Archer tries to hail a mysterious alien ship, it leaves without hitting triangle on the Entrepreneur. But when it returns for a noisy scan that leaves the ship stranded, Archer starts to have some doubts about space exploration without key weps. What are Yuban coffee cans good for? Does Ben have a favorite order at any given restaurant? Who always reads the room? It’s the episode that identifies and then destroys the most pleasing shape in science fiction!

When a Number Six shows up on Audrey 2, she provides Dr. Amarak’s prescribed evidence that Dr. Baltar blew up the defense mainframe. But when Lieutenant Gaeta gets assigned to Project Magnify and Enhance, a desperate conversion to monotheism starts Gaius on both a redemption arc and a new method of Cylon detection. How does Boxey like his PB&J sandwiches? What has Grace Park never had on this show? Which unnerving reality still exists in bathrooms of the future? It’s the episode that imagines even more octagonal possibilities.

When the Entrepreneur stops to ‘sup some aliens at a stellar nursery, one of the guests they invite aboard knows exactly how to save them from destruction. But when crew member Daniels claims to be from the future, Captain Archer has to decide which time traveler to trust. Why would a person bring two things to a party? What’s the wrong order of beers for a power hour? Who is smarter than Captain Archer? It’s the episode with multiple Star Trek Discovery spoilers!

When a Doral sneaks aboard the Audrey 2, he sets off a public-relations bomb that gives Sergeant Hadrian a free hand. But even though the Chief and Boomer don’t have an alibi, the investigation reveals a flight deck crew that’s pretty terrible at cover-ups. What’s the latest relationship technology that FODs need to understand? Where else could Sharon have gone for a beatdown? How are Centurions different from Sentinels? It’s the episode that loves a courtroom easel!

When Starbuck goes down hard in Juarez, the Adamas risk everything on the search and rescue mission. But when she finds the Cylon raider that shot her down and hot wires it back to Galactica, Commander Adama extends the last cigar in the universe and welcomes her back into the family. How much air do you want in a spacesuit? Is there something off about Caprican Pop Tarts? Who is also named Boxey? It’s the episode that knows its cuts of meat.

When the Entrepreneur gets sent to help a freighter in distress, its acting captain is a bit of a base-model Toyota Corolla enthusiast. But when a friendly check-in from a Maritime standpoint starts seeming more suspicious, Captain Archer outlaws frontier justice and Mayweather convinces his boomer twin to release the Nausicaan hostage. What’s the most painful part of adapting to life in LA? Is Captain Ryan a Captain Josh? Which story needs the Petkoff treatment? It’s the episode with a very short Death Wish.

When the Entrepreneur gets within range of an inhabited planet, an away team shuttles down to learn more about its plain-ass inhabitants. But when another alien on the DL has contaminated the town with lube, Captain Archer finds a secret bunker and shuts his mining operation down. Who isn’t scared of a handheld crossbow? Does Trip have another area of expertise? What’s the 18th rule of Greatest Gen? It’s the episode that is officially discouraging the practice of Krafting.

When a recon drone Cliffhangers its way into Flattop’s face, there’s suddenly a deficit of Viper pilots aboard Audrey II. But after Starbuck tosses out a whole ten-piece order of nuggets, Commander Adama advises a different order. Do all Italian eateries have a secret bunker? What side of Boomer’s face is the mole actually on? Should Ben keep or close the gap? It’s the episode that resets the number of days without a workplace accident to “0”.

When Enterprise discovers a great big comet, Captain Archer sends a team to get a closer look. But when a personal matter involving T’Pol threatens her future on the ship, her professional opportunities may be frozen as well. What color is an embarrassed Vulcan? How many dick pics is a doctor allowed to have? Does IDIC apply to snowmen? It’s the episode that is enshrined into the Star Trek Foley Work Hall of Fame!

When it’s time to get the water from a very inhospitable moon, the USS Con Air is President Rosalind’s best hope to make it happen. But when a terrorist gets into a position to negotiate, Apollo follows the law and promises him elections. What’s next level from a spit take? Where does Steve Buscemi fit into this pitch? How do you avoid a prison riot altogether? It’s the episode with both personal and professional flaws! 

When it’s time to get the water from a very inhospitable moon, the USS Con Air is President Rosalind’s best hope to make it happen. But when a terrorist gets into a position to negotiate, Apollo follows the law and promises him elections. What’s next level from a spit take? Where does Steve Buscemi fit into this pitch? How do you avoid a prison riot altogether? It’s the episode with both personal and professional flaws! 

When Captain Archer wants to visit a tragically chill monastery, the away team beams down just in time for a hostage situation. But when the Andorians can’t find the hidden technology they’re looking for, a strategic beating and fire fight leads everyone to the reliquary. What was Roxann Dawson’s boldest directing choice? Which encyclopedia doesn’t have any translucent pages? How did Archer boost his likability score? It’s the episode that updates IDIC to IDIODIC.

When Boomer wakes up wet and doesn’t know why, there’s no Croatian fisherman to help get her bearings. But when Commander Adama invites the President to witness an act of sabotage on Galactica, the internal investigation points to at least one Cylon aboard. Would Egghead Software still be in business if they had a better return policy? Is there a wrong way to win a poker game? What does the Audrey 2 not have? It’s the episode that could have gone pantsless!

When the Entrepreneur goes looking for a long-lost colony, they find a group of cafeteria Novans living in real Star Trek caves. But when the dumb-dumbs can’t understand why they’re slowly becoming irradiated, moving them to another continent soothes Captain Archer’s vanity. When does Malcolm Reed win? Why is the Hungarian rec basketball team so fragrant? What’s going to be good for the health of the ship? It’s the episode with a pristine polar region!

When the Colonial Fleet hasn’t slept for days, they probably should have started handing out stims sooner. But when the Olympic Carrier gets left behind and then shows back up looking a little too inconclusive, Commander Adama’s resting suspicion face makes him ready to blow up the damn ship. What kind of child is Number Six proposing? Does Galactica belong off-Broadway? How can you ruin a glimmer of hope? It’s the episode that wants to rent out its happy place.

When Commander Tucker gets assigned to fix an alien ship, he finally chills out and starts smelling the grass. But when his unexpected pregnancy is more Junior than Aliens, not even a girlfriend shirt could hide the pregnant person tropes. Where does a pantsless dance club rank on a list of first impressions? Who has the standards and practices memo on those nips? What would make Enterprise 2,000% better? It’s the episode that still wants a Star Trek World.

When it’s time to look back at Discovery as a whole, the series only reinforces Star Trek as a place. But when the questions and answers go both ways, only a special guest could tell the full story. Which future tech didn’t make doors obsolete? Whose line of dialogue requires an oral history? What hashtag will soon be trending? It’s the episode that loves a big beautiful format!

When there’s a big blue dot outside the Entrepreneur’s windows, Captain Archer can’t resist taking a team down to trample the Strange New World. But when camping Trip Tucker turns into acid Trip Tucker, T’Pol plays along for her chance to shoot him in the chest. Whose hair is an extra character in this story? Which Star Trek patter is not 5 by 5? Where is Archer currently on the likability scale? It’s the episode that knows it doesn’t have the right stuff.