When Starbuck goes down hard in Juarez, the Adamas risk everything on the search and rescue mission. But when she finds the Cylon raider that shot her down and hot wires it back to Galactica, Commander Adama extends the last cigar in the universe and welcomes her back into the family. How much air do you want in a spacesuit? Is there something off about Caprican Pop Tarts? Who is also named Boxey? It’s the episode that knows its cuts of meat.

When the Entrepreneur gets sent to help a freighter in distress, its acting captain is a bit of a base-model Toyota Corolla enthusiast. But when a friendly check-in from a Maritime standpoint starts seeming more suspicious, Captain Archer outlaws frontier justice and Mayweather convinces his boomer twin to release the Nausicaan hostage. What’s the most painful part of adapting to life in LA? Is Captain Ryan a Captain Josh? Which story needs the Petkoff treatment? It’s the episode with a very short Death Wish.

When the Entrepreneur gets within range of an inhabited planet, an away team shuttles down to learn more about its plain-ass inhabitants. But when another alien on the DL has contaminated the town with lube, Captain Archer finds a secret bunker and shuts his mining operation down. Who isn’t scared of a handheld crossbow? Does Trip have another area of expertise? What’s the 18th rule of Greatest Gen? It’s the episode that is officially discouraging the practice of Krafting.

When a recon drone Cliffhangers its way into Flattop’s face, there’s suddenly a deficit of Viper pilots aboard Audrey II. But after Starbuck tosses out a whole ten-piece order of nuggets, Commander Adama advises a different order. Do all Italian eateries have a secret bunker? What side of Boomer’s face is the mole actually on? Should Ben keep or close the gap? It’s the episode that resets the number of days without a workplace accident to “0”.

When Enterprise discovers a great big comet, Captain Archer sends a team to get a closer look. But when a personal matter involving T’Pol threatens her future on the ship, her professional opportunities may be frozen as well. What color is an embarrassed Vulcan? How many dick pics is a doctor allowed to have? Does IDIC apply to snowmen? It’s the episode that is enshrined into the Star Trek Foley Work Hall of Fame!

When it’s time to get the water from a very inhospitable moon, the USS Con Air is President Rosalind’s best hope to make it happen. But when a terrorist gets into a position to negotiate, Apollo follows the law and promises him elections. What’s next level from a spit take? Where does Steve Buscemi fit into this pitch? How do you avoid a prison riot altogether? It’s the episode with both personal and professional flaws! 

When it’s time to get the water from a very inhospitable moon, the USS Con Air is President Rosalind’s best hope to make it happen. But when a terrorist gets into a position to negotiate, Apollo follows the law and promises him elections. What’s next level from a spit take? Where does Steve Buscemi fit into this pitch? How do you avoid a prison riot altogether? It’s the episode with both personal and professional flaws! 

When Captain Archer wants to visit a tragically chill monastery, the away team beams down just in time for a hostage situation. But when the Andorians can’t find the hidden technology they’re looking for, a strategic beating and fire fight leads everyone to the reliquary. What was Roxann Dawson’s boldest directing choice? Which encyclopedia doesn’t have any translucent pages? How did Archer boost his likability score? It’s the episode that updates IDIC to IDIODIC.

When Boomer wakes up wet and doesn’t know why, there’s no Croatian fisherman to help get her bearings. But when Commander Adama invites the President to witness an act of sabotage on Galactica, the internal investigation points to at least one Cylon aboard. Would Egghead Software still be in business if they had a better return policy? Is there a wrong way to win a poker game? What does the Audrey 2 not have? It’s the episode that could have gone pantsless!

When the Entrepreneur goes looking for a long-lost colony, they find a group of cafeteria Novans living in real Star Trek caves. But when the dumb-dumbs can’t understand why they’re slowly becoming irradiated, moving them to another continent soothes Captain Archer’s vanity. When does Malcolm Reed win? Why is the Hungarian rec basketball team so fragrant? What’s going to be good for the health of the ship? It’s the episode with a pristine polar region!

When the Colonial Fleet hasn’t slept for days, they probably should have started handing out stims sooner. But when the Olympic Carrier gets left behind and then shows back up looking a little too inconclusive, Commander Adama’s resting suspicion face makes him ready to blow up the damn ship. What kind of child is Number Six proposing? Does Galactica belong off-Broadway? How can you ruin a glimmer of hope? It’s the episode that wants to rent out its happy place.

When Commander Tucker gets assigned to fix an alien ship, he finally chills out and starts smelling the grass. But when his unexpected pregnancy is more Junior than Aliens, not even a girlfriend shirt could hide the pregnant person tropes. Where does a pantsless dance club rank on a list of first impressions? Who has the standards and practices memo on those nips? What would make Enterprise 2,000% better? It’s the episode that still wants a Star Trek World.

When it’s time to look back at Discovery as a whole, the series only reinforces Star Trek as a place. But when the questions and answers go both ways, only a special guest could tell the full story. Which future tech didn’t make doors obsolete? Whose line of dialogue requires an oral history? What hashtag will soon be trending? It’s the episode that loves a big beautiful format!

When there’s a big blue dot outside the Entrepreneur’s windows, Captain Archer can’t resist taking a team down to trample the Strange New World. But when camping Trip Tucker turns into acid Trip Tucker, T’Pol plays along for her chance to shoot him in the chest. Whose hair is an extra character in this story? Which Star Trek patter is not 5 by 5? Where is Archer currently on the likability scale? It’s the episode that knows it doesn’t have the right stuff.

When Captain Burnham wakes up on a different network for the finale, she does triangle right and earns a chat with a dead Progenitor. But when she turns down the steward job and stashes The Greatest Discovery inside a black hole, an epilogue answers questions that no one knew they had. Is the Geordi training protocol no longer in use? Who was unwilling to wear the loaf? What’s a red flag during any job interview? It’s the episode that stays out of Breen politics.

When the crew of the Entrepreneur is already bored, finding a haunted house vessel seems worth strapping up to explore. But when the horror show inside makes Hoshi’s bad day worse, the world’s smallest space explosion won’t save them from their globulin. Why exactly is Sluggo not well? In what way is Captain Archer like an aging relative? How do you play the America’s Test Kitchen drinking game? It’s the episode where liquid dog shit is a metaphor!

When a busted up Discovery jumps to the middle of a double black hole, the keg left by the Progenitors gets stolen right out from under them by Moll. But when an away team goes undercover to try to retake the tech, Burnham decides to follow the light in search of a series finale. Is there a difference between Beta team and Bravo team? How exactly are the Breen nothing like us? What can never go back into the toothpaste tube? It’s the episode that's terrorized by chainsaws!

When Captain Archer takes advantage of a diplomatic incident to get his new crew their first deep space mission, no one gets along with the Vulcan science officer assigned to be their chaperone. But when some squishy aliens kidnap a Klingon from Enterprise, T’Pol must take command to get the mission over the finish line. How bizarre is a sci-fi bazaar at this point? Which sandwich resembles Trip Tucker? Will this ship go down with the captain? It’s the episode that paints without masking first!

When Disco jumps to the Badlands, they find a Hogwarts library where checking out the next clue KOs Captain Burnham. But when the Breen show up and get their library card revoked, Michael’s journey through the labyrinth finally makes her a little more relatable. What’s involved in podcast pre-production? Who runs DS9 in the 32nd century? Does Moll have a type? It’s the episode that still wants to go to Betazed.

When Voyager wrapped up leaving everyone wanting more, pitching some spicy alternate endings could have avoided the All Good Things comparison. But if there’s no extra time to make a finale truly great, expectations shouldn’t be too high for for a Star Trek podcast either. Why exactly is local news suffering? How did the writers’ room launder Neelix’s character? Whose personal development was the most grating? It’s the episode that never says no without a number.

When the Breen Primarch shows up in a haunted house ship, President T’Rina tries to negotiate and only gets an hour for Captain Burnham. But when an unmovable bluff meets an unstoppable bluff, Rayner starts talking and Book finally gets to do something useful for the mission. Which raw materials are available on Betazed? Should all comm badges have do not disturb mode? What’s the real reason L’ak died in sicksbay? It’s the episode that wants to sell you a timeshare!

When Admiral Janeway has the sads on the anniversary of Voyager’s homecoming, she decides time travel is the best way to do a finale. But when Captain Janeway spreads the cheeks of a Borg-infested nebula, only vase face could decide the outcome of another shortcut home. Who needs to check for flight simulator updates? How did the loaf constrain the stakes? What’s at the bottom of the PAW Patrol kiddie pool? It’s the episode that keeps Marvin Berry in its thoughts.

When the scientist behind the next can koozie puzzle clue leads Discovery to a dusty green planet, Burnham and Tilly beam down just in time to request a sugar cube fun run to the high tower. But when winning the race means becoming the sacrifice, the Prime Directive gets fired into the sun to save a different new Star Trek show. How do you get kicked off of YouTube? What are the two levels of trap? Where are the atheists if not in foxholes? It’s the episode with an Edward Darkin.