DudemanJenkins

Brother I feel this.

I'm between jobs at the moment and realizing I'm in another dying industry (software qa) after being a customer service agent which was after my network administration which was after my classical performance career. Everything I've found myself in has either been nepotized or outsourced and frankly I honestly miss the monotony of meetings and bullshit. It's arduous in the moment but they served good markers in time in hindsight. I made the mistake of mistaking the friendly faces for friendships.

If it's anything it took me like 8 years of vaping to realize I needed to quit. When I met my wife I didn't want her to suffer the cloud life bullshit and she was my absolute rock. Idk if you ever had the talk about doing it for something but even if it's for your pet I'm hoping you have something to put a pin on to support that endeavor.

Nobody has answers and I certainly the least but I'm glad you're here.

Sometimes you don't get a choice. Sometimes it's a 31 week surprise and you have to decide if you want to make a life for this little thing that's now spawned into existence. You look at it and have to chose if you want to be the dad that decided to do well by them or the dad that threw them to the system.

I hope you never have to make that choice.

u/Harvey656

This might be the drugs talking but I'm a strong advocate for drugs. I hope you're able to find good and real stuff and at least a trusted friend to trip sit.

I'm currently bound to this earth by my family since I could never stomach the thought of them enduring that loss.

I hope you have a reason to draw that curve upwards some day my friend.

Quitting cigarettes was the most difficult thing I've ever done. From one to another, kudos.

Honestly though hallucinogens really need to be more mainstream. Acid completely changed my outlook on life and give me a perspective of life and myself I would never have gotten through therapy or any other depression suppressants.

It's also cheap as balls if you find a good plug. 10 bucks for an all day ticket is wild you just have to be with someone you trust with your life who won't fuck with you.

I'd end myself in a heartbeat if I found myself doing anything customer facing again.

All the best to you, my dude.

I hope your table is well my friend.

The stage - the fear. My life is rejections at this point and everything else is falling apart at the seams. Putting myself out in any way is...... not ideal to me.