Sometimes you don't get a choice. Sometimes it's a 31 week surprise and you have to decide if you want to make a life for this little thing that's now spawned into existence. You look at it and have to chose if you want to be the dad that decided to do well by them or the dad that threw them to the system.
I hope you never have to make that choice.
Brother I feel this.
I'm between jobs at the moment and realizing I'm in another dying industry (software qa) after being a customer service agent which was after my network administration which was after my classical performance career. Everything I've found myself in has either been nepotized or outsourced and frankly I honestly miss the monotony of meetings and bullshit. It's arduous in the moment but they served good markers in time in hindsight. I made the mistake of mistaking the friendly faces for friendships.
If it's anything it took me like 8 years of vaping to realize I needed to quit. When I met my wife I didn't want her to suffer the cloud life bullshit and she was my absolute rock. Idk if you ever had the talk about doing it for something but even if it's for your pet I'm hoping you have something to put a pin on to support that endeavor.
Nobody has answers and I certainly the least but I'm glad you're here.