this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

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-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was having difficulty understanding my Chinese boss one day, and after the third time I asked in total confusion, "What?" He looked at me and asked, "Why you not understand me, am I no speaking English?" I cracked us both up with my reply of, "No, you're clearly speaking Chinglish!"

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Her: I am struggling with two words.

Me: Ok.

Her: Fuck and fuck.

Me: umm

Her: the first one is like a thing for eating a meal.

Me: Oh! Ok "fork" is what you eat with and "fuck" is what you do in private or yell when something goes wrong.

Her: Say it again.

(Multiple minutes later of me saying fork and fuck)

Her: So I eat with a for-K and f-U-ck in private.

Me: You got it, now go and fork yourself.

(Me getting hit with a pillow multiple times while laughing)

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have this sort of thing all the time here in Spain, though with shit/sheet.

There's plenty going the other way too, of course. At least I don't mistake miedo and mierda these days ...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

One time I misremembered my Japanese teacher's mnemonic and wrote that my grandpa was married to noodles.

Teacher told us grandma is sofu because she has a sore foot from kicking grandpa's ass. I remembered it as sore bum instead, and changed grandma to soba

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sofu (祖父) is grandpa. Sobo (祖母) is grandma, which is even closer to soba.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Damn, I still cannot get that mnemonic right

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I'm well aware, but thank you.

I need more. MORE!