this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
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CW: I will discuss body dismorphia, or the (seeming) lack thereof I feel when thinking what it would be like to have been assigned the wrong gender. Also I describe sexual roles and thinking about having different anatomy.

Ok, so I've previously read Trans Liberation by Leslie Feinberg and I care about gender insofar as it takes to ensure all gender nonconforming people get healthcare, feel safe in public life, etc. I also will/have changed my language as much as it takes to make my trans comrades feel comfortable. With that out of the way:

I am a cis male, and I guess I am mostly okay with the body I've been given. I prefer to be called him, but I would only be a little annoyed if someone used she/her or they/them to describe me. If I try to imagine my body with a vagina and developing breasts in puberty with my current state of mind, I don't feel very much discomfort. I don't feel particularly attached to the role of penetrating another partner as a gay guy who enjoys bottoming more than topping. If I was forced to wear dresses to church growing up, I don't imagine I would be very distressed.

I do value the relative ease of building muscle that comes with having a male hormonal profile, and I guess dealing with having a female hormonal profile could be alarming, but mostly because it's not what I'm used to. But before puberty, I also wasn't used to having a bunch of testosterone.

On some level, I understand that it can be traumatic to be the target of violence and hate speech, or to be denied medical care. I'm speaking from a position of relative privilege.

Does this mean I'm possibly non-binary? Or something else? I feel content to be assumed as male, but I don't feel that strongly about it. And the title question again, does anybody else who is cisgender or otherwise just not have strong feelings about their own gender?

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Definitely yes. I like the term "gender ambivalent" to describe this feeling, but I would hardly class someone whose identity is "conforming to what society assigns me because it's easy" as an lgbt identity.

As to whether it's an NB thing, I would ask: do you ever feel female, or do you feel equally ambivalent about the prospect of being female as your current fate of being male?