nothings happened yet wtf! where’s my instantaneous magical girl transformation?

seriously tho, i expected some mental change based on how ppl describe the euphoria of being on E, but ig that takes time just like the physical changes.

i can wait tho, i was so indescribably happy last night after injecting. i was tearing up and cuddling with my gf and had amazing sleep. it feels like a new chapter of my life that im more optimistic and joyful for than ive ever been! been waiting almost two years for this moment 🥹

thank you hexbear! i dont know how much longer it would have taken for me to discover my transness if i wasn’t a part of the site with the best trans community on the internet!

and im going to grad school in a medium sized city in a month so ill be in a good place to transition compared to the rural area where i live

i am DIY and made four vials a couple weeks ago. then yesterday i sterilized them at 130C for 30 minutes, pretty easy in oil if you have a digital probe thermometer (i think ppl call them candy thermometers).

my regimen is 11 mg estradiol enanthate stabbed into my butt every 14 days. im planning on getting a blood test in 3 months and adjusting. p sure ill have to up the dose bc im 6’ and 200 lbs. prob gonna try to add progesterone in 6 months to a year even tho the studies on that haven’t been too promising in it helping transfems. prog can actually be pretty cheap if you DIY and mix a powder with coconut/cocoa oil and take it rectally.

just discovered this guy. hes honestly really talented, im pretty sure he does the production himself. his album "eroica" is a perfect mix of silly and serious and i think hes got major potential. he covers a lot of serious topics like toxic masculinity and capitalism juxtaposed with humor that gives his songs this wild polarity; hes also genuinely funny

this was from monday, but i didnt see this round of aid posted on this comm

$60 billion, but its different this time in that they are going to use frozen Russian assets to partially fund it. this is actually a crazy move that flies in the face of the neoliberal rules-based international order. more than that, it’s sets a precedent for economic warfare. the US has seized assets from enemies during war, but the US is not at war with Russia. this is an egregious faux pas with deleterious consequences for the US (Russia doing the same to US-owned assets in Russia), but it may also mean the US intends to directly declare war against Russia (unlikely). what’s more likely is that the US strong-arms european allies to do this. ukraine simply doesn’t have the manpower to continue for much longer.

the article notes that this asset seizure is illegal. the author also hypothesizes that the US will force the EU to act similarly. this will lead to an even deeper rift between “the west” and Russia that will be near impossible to mend. this illegal asset forfeiture was enabled by bipartisan support (vote of 360-58 in the house). the global times agrees with this perspective

Putin will be visiting China soon, and Blinken just finished a 3-day visit that seemed rather unproductive and uneventful. blinken was tactless and the topics he brought up were the usual “China bad” drivel. among these topics was “concern” about China supporting Russia’s military industrial capacity

the US is also sending more of its troops as “military advisors”. so less than a quarter of this $60 billion is going to weapons for Ukraine, 11 billion is going toward the US troops, and the rest is to replenish the US weapon stockpile. $50 billion just handed over to the MIC. basically, they’re not sending enough for a counteroffensive, which is probably the best thing for ukrainians considering how much of a failure every single one of those has been.

the most “exciting” new toy ukraine is getting is the ATACMS (attack ‘em up real good). this missile system brings Crimea into range. however the US is running into problems meeting its goal of 100,000 shells per month by 2025. the deindustrialization of the US has consequences?!

discovered this guy tonight. he thinks he’s gonna be the next president of China but is campaigning in English on western social media. def not a psyop! /s

he says he’s gonna democratize China and his first action as president will be to apologize to the world for covid

“once China becomes a democratic country it will give american entrepreneurs and companies lots of opportunities in the Chinese market”

he “respects” the “special requests” of the LGBT community but will enact legislation to “protect the children”

Baltimore, MD- Early this morning, Baltimore’s Francis Scott Key Bridge collapsed when a container ship struck a support column. Intelligence sources say the ship was captured by Russian special forces. Putin put out a statement only viewable to me that confirms this and includes a statement about intending to kill all Americans and end freedom forever.

wow! he canceled 8% of the student debt in convoluted, means-tested policies that only benefit 10% of those who were promised debt relief a year ago? what a hero! some of these plans have people continue making payments but it being forgiven in 20-25 years. absolute of liberal policy.

The situation for kids and families at the border is vastly improved over what it was under Trump

same user engages in some genocide denial in this thread

this comment was deleted but it was in this post

ive been playing this game since 2011 when i was in middle school and im still coming back to it. im sinking hours into it after work while my puppy sleeps next to my desk and my gf is working evening shift. its such a cozy game and reminds me of when i spent all day after school playing MC and other games w friends. its not just nostalgia tho, its just such a cute game that can be whatever the player wants. after all this time, i still derive so much joy from exploring a new world, building a sprawling estate, spelunking, and even just mining. even tho MC doesnt track ur hours played, im certain its my most played game

just wanted to share that i love this game

chose Mint with Cinnamon DE bc its easy. its been a great experience so far and i dont think ill ever look back. Victoria 3 works and thats the only game ill care abt before TES 6 comes out

my last post abt her was when she was 4 months old https://hexbear.net/post/435569 . shes now 8 months and over 50 pounds! she has a much more developed personality now, shes so friendly and playful but can be sassy (prob her being a puppy, we are trying to train her but, both of us being first time puppy owners, we are still figuring it out). she takes up training really quickly tho, its just hard to get her to not bark and snap at us when she’s not getting non-stop attention

shes the best tho! i love her so much and try my best to spoil her w toys, treats, and playtime

update to https://hexbear.net/post/1251794

i passed! it was an oral swab test and the last time i smoked was a week before the test. unfortunately, i was talking with some of my coworkers who are already internal employees and the company does a lot of random tests, so ill prob only smoke on the occasional friday from now on (no biggie, i took a 4 month break recently and after coming back to it i only smoke twice a week max). if i wanna smoke more, i just have to wait 8 months to when i start grad school (pending acceptance 🤞 )

thanks for all the reassurance comrades! ive been MIA from hexbear for a couple months but i wanna be active here again

i recently applied to go from a contractor to an internal employee and got the official job offer last week. my drug test is tomorrow and the form says its an oral fluids test, which i will pass, but i have this gnawing anxiety that ill go in and they spring a urine test on me (i would not pass this). i have powdered urine from testclear, and ive used it before and passed a urine test two years ago, but this test will be given on the jobsite and will be harder to pull off.

wish me luck that its a saliva test, i really dont want to lose this job :(