this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2023
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What words, phrases or signs do you use and how do you get your partner's attention?

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[โ€“] [email protected] 62 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I've taught my husband to speak a bit of Japanese, but we don't use it this way because that's extremely rude.

[โ€“] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I wouldn't say we speak in people's faces, but we make comments to each other about random stuff. I would never say something rude about somebody in their faces, but my spouse might go, "Can we go back to the hotel, I really need to take a shit" or something silly and unfiltered like that.

[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I get it, I just still think it's rude and avoid doing so myself.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (2 children)

It's rude for spouses to have a private conversation? Would whispering be better? Would it be better if they hid in a cupboard where no one could see them?

[โ€“] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Yes, it's generally considered rude to switch languages specifically to hide your conversation.

It's because most will assume you are doing it to talk shit.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Sure, if people suddenly switched languages and then laughed in my face, I would feel bad.

But if it's like the other comments in this post, and it's a couple having a quick word about a private matter, I wouldn't mind. It's not like I should be a part of that conversation

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

This varies depending on the cultural norms of the country.

Japanese: I have been in high level meetings with a Japanese company. As soon as I walked into the room they all switched to English. Some of their English was weak but they still made the effort. When I commented on how much I appreciated it, surprised Pikachu faces all around. They responded course they would swap, to do otherwise is rude.

In France I have had business meetings with with 8 people around a table all of who all spoke english. 4 of them were native French speakers, 1 polish, 2 Arabic, and me the sole native English speaker. The native French speakers spoke French the entire time. They would swap to English to interrupt the English language conversation then swap back to French amongst themselve. If two or more native French speakers are together, they speak French and don't give a fuck if they include you or not. They then act all surprised that you didn't follow their in French conversation.

[โ€“] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Which they are.

Agree, it's rude af.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Tell me you're insecure without saying you're insecure.

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

It is rude to intentionally speak in a language that the people around you don't understand (especially if you're doing so specifically because they don't understand it), yes.

[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (2 children)

That's probably a cultural thing, isn't it? In diverse areas, people don't expect to understand what they hear others say, so there's no "Speak ___; we're in ___" culture.

[โ€“] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'd say it's more of a context thing. If you're hanging out in a group of people chatting together and you code switch to speak to someone so nobody else can understand, that's rude. If you're just speaking to someone in another language on your own, nobody cares (except xenophobic bigots).

[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago

Oh, that makes sense. I didn't consider anyone would do that.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Definitely an American thing. Wide swaths of the country have issues with any kind of diversity.

[โ€“] [email protected] 0 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I wouldn't even include all of America in that either. It's really just a rural America thing. Sure 99.9% of people will speak/understand English, but in my anecdotal experience, it's pretty common near big cities for people to be bilingual and grow up speaking a different language with their families.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

For sure not the whole country. Don't have to go far into the suburbs to find this kind of behavior, though.