this post was submitted on 13 Jun 2024
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https://www.jamesmollison.com/where-children-sleep
We are privileged. Gratitude is hard.
We are, but also why can't we make things better? Money is made up and billionaires hoard it all. They should be dangled over shark tanks until they fix everyone's life.
Like I said, gratitude is hard.
It is hard to have gratitude when there is inequality
It is hard to have gratitude when competition is encouraged and enshrined by people who benefit from it
It is hard to have gratitude when the constructs in which we live seem unjust
It is hard to wake up and look around and find something to be grateful for
It is hard to be grateful when all you can see is what you don't have
Being genuinely appreciative of what you do have leads to a quieter mind and a happier life. We have one life.
It comes across as some stupid bullshit, I know. But the resentment and frustration aren't useful. Clarity of mind and purpose is, and is more sustainable than passion and anger.
My 2c.
I think maybe there's a reason we're not grateful. Maybe we need those emotions to motivate us.
I don't think if I were grateful I'd bother finishing up my scifi novel or many other projects.
If you think anger and resentment are sources of motivation, you really need to try gratitude. Try it for a week. If it’s not working, you can go back to your old emotional diet.
I find gratitude incredibly draining because it's artificial and also it seems oddly guilt based. I would rather frame things as giving myself credit. I got tasks done. I showed self discipline. Gratitude implies I was handed something on a plate.
You were handed many things on a plate... This planet, nature, air, our current level of science, technology, civilization, development, law and order, music, literature, even the very fact that you exist and are human. You did nothing to earn any of it. You may have bought your iPhone and paid for the internet service that you're using, but they were not created for you, and you had no hand in their development.
You make it sound like some poor hardworking exploited person built the earth themselves out of some sort of clay and handed it to me for free.
You make it sound like another person's labor is the only thing that deserves gratitude.
And no, I'm not suggesting you should be grateful to god. I'm an atheist.
I'm a nihilist. I wasn't thinking of God.
IDK. I respect that gratitude works for others. I personally am not a fan because I feel we have the normal range of emotions for a good reason.
For example: Anger motivates us to leave an exploitative job or an abusive relationship. Gratitude might very well keep someone in that relationship or in a job where they end up herniating a disk...because instead of being angry enough to leave they tell themselves 'I'm so lucky! Other people have it worse!'
I never suggested you should be grateful for everything and anything that happens to you. That's really not necessary to practice gratitude on occasion. And your brain doesn't automatically turn into mush that's incapable of recognizing exploitation or injustice.
When you look for things to be angry about, when you look for things to be resentful about, you find them.
When you look for things to be satisfied with, when you look for things to be grateful for, you find them.
I found the opposite. I have achieved far, far more through practising gratitude, knowing my values and moving towards them rather than being pressure and goal oriented.
I went for a walk this morning, in a park near my house. It was cold and grey, so.i was grateful for my gloves and for the solitude. How good is it that I can go for a walk, in a park near my house? Hear birds, breathe air see trees, smell the frost? How good that there are parks, and birds, and it's safe, and I can walk. I want to keep doing it. I'm grateful for that.
I don't look for things to be either angry or grateful about I just get on with life. I respect that gratitude works for you. Personally I find forcing gratitude just drains me. I find I do best just accepting that sometimes I'm angry or stressed and that those are signs telling me something.
well said, keep saying it. there's a really toxic attitude on this site that I'm starting to pick up on. everyone moralizing and externalizing their depression. it's no wonder everyone is suicidal