this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2024
798 points (98.0% liked)
Programmer Humor
18971 readers
882 users here now
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
- Keep content in english
- No advertisements
- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I'm pretty sure I've done most of these at some point or another.
It really depends whether I like you or not.
Liking my users is entirely dependent on how much work you make me do, and how difficult that work becomes because of your personality.
I've gotten tickets that were literally "$thing is broken", or "help! Call me!" With no information given, not even a callback number. I've also gotten a rambling voicemail, in which a user describes an issue with a piece of software and doesn't identify themselves, not provide any callback information. The CID on the voicemail wasn't available either, and since I work with several companies doing support, I couldn't even identify the client, nevermind the specific user.
There's also the needy users that create tickets for every prompt, dialog, message, delay.... Pretty much anything that could happen at all ever, whether it affects their ability to do their work or not.
There's also the unavailable users, they are not available ever, at any time, for any reason. I have literally gotten critical tickets which require me to access the users workstation to fix, while it is logged in as the user, and I could call less than 5 minutes after they create the ticket, and they're busy. Email them and they have an out of the office message, or reply with something about them being in a meeting (with no information about when they will be free), or simply don't reply at all. After a few weeks of trying to contact them to connect and resolve their very simple (but "critical") issue and getting nowhere, close the ticket, only to be met with a flurry of emails from them about how the problem isn't solved. Immediately call or reply and you get voicemail and silence.
Most of my users do fine, and it's usually a minority that are troublemakers, and I want to make that clear.... But the troublemakers are the driving force for me to find ways to fix pretty much every problem without ever opening their system though remote control. I can do all kinds of things from registry edits and hacks, to writing and scheduling PowerShell scripts to fix their shit every time they log in, and deploy that by a remote PowerShell command prompt, and nothing more.
Yeah William, you might be the c-whatever bullshit, but if the issue is sooo fucking critical, make five goddamned minutes for me to fix your shit or it's not getting fixed. I don't care if you own the goddamned planet, I can't fix your shit without access.
This could be weaponized incompetence. "Oh I keep having issues with my computer that interfere with my work, so I can't work and IT is incompetent and can't help me, look at all these tickets and how long IT takes. I just can't get any work done!"
Oh yeah, I've seen that. People hit the most minor roadblock and just stop working until someone else fixes their shit.
It's an attitude of "we've tried nothing and we're out of ideas!"
I don't like those people either.