this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2024
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My wife is queen of passive aggression. She will say certain things that only hint at something being my fault, or sigh or do certain things in a way that shows discomfort
Knew someone like this, took a while to learn how unhealthy it is. Politely call it out by asking "This seems to really be bothering you and I don't want to be doing that to you. What's actually wrong here?"
For many, it's amazing how quickly behaviors can change when they realize they can be straight forward without a negative reaction.
Edit: Supportive can be the best reaction in most situations. Home, work, etc. As long as it doesn't harm your own mental or physical health, and that you also get what you need.
I think that's a perfect response. You're leading with sincerity, but also throwing it back on them to try and reason out what's really bothering them (rather than taking it on yourself).
Thanks, over the years I have failed enough at this to learn. Hoping others can benefit from that without the hurdles to get there.