this post was submitted on 14 Jul 2024
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As you all know there was that fateful day, a very fateful day, in Pennsylvania, where they make the best cheesteaks you know, very fine cheesesteaks, but you have to choose, you have to choose you know between the real Philly style and the other way - I choose the real way because I love Pennsylvania you know - I spend a lot of time there, great state, not as good as Florida, but still great, great golfing in Florida by the way, really the best golfing, did you know I could beat Biden on the golf course any day of the week, but anyway so on that fateful day, I felt a lot like one of my favorite people, Hannibal Lector, as those agents were trying to take me away, you know the police were always taking him places he didn't want to go, but they respected him, they respected a man like that, and I was giving the speech and watching the birds in the trees, did you know that their hockey team almost made it to the Stanley cup this year, that's right, they have the best hockey, the Rangers had a great season, I always go to their games when I'm in Pennsylvania, and so all this only makes me stronger and my wife, my wife thinks I'm very handsome, and even more now with the scar on my ear she says it makes me look rugged like an outdoorsman and did you know Hannibal Lector was an outdoorsman too, and he was in a crash with Alec Baldwin - don't let that guy have a gun I tell you - and he was very rugged and handsome and thank you very much please remember to vote for me in November....
that was almost TOO good