this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2023
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How do I gently tell someone their writing is bad (as in, needs significant work)? (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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A really good friend showed me a personal essay and asked for my honest opinion. She was looking to enter a contest, so I wanted to give her some good feedback to make her writing stand out.

But as it turned out, this was her final draft, and she was really just looking for affirmation that she's a good writer.

The essay needed a lot of work. But when I gave my friend a list of the things that needed to be fixed, she got so upset that she deleted the draft and didn't enter the contest at all. Now I feel terrible.

What should I have done differently? How do you gently break the news to someone that theor writing needs a lot of work?

I do think I was too harsh. But I also didn't want her to enter the contest without having a stellar piece.

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (3 children)

If you can't give constructive criticism, maybe don't say anything?

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Sorry, I posted this too soon, and didn't provide any context. I've edited (as in -- completely rewritten) my post to provide more details.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Okay, now with more context, I can say that it seems like you did things properly after all. At least, I hope you told her what needed work and how to potentially improve it.

So it seems that your friend is just one of those people who can't handle any criticism. You could try apologizing to her, and explaining that you wanted to help her and admit that you might have been a bit too harsh, but that it was in order to push her to be a better writer.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In hindsight, I was too harsh. I was so focused on helping her improve that I forgot to say anything positive.

But that's a good point about stating my genuine intentions to help. I think I tend to be overly critical as part of my personality, and it doesn't really come across that I have good intentions.