this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2023
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It was my first job in a hostile city. My apartment was trash so I learned to sleep under my desk instead of going back there. My parents were getting divorced and it ended up forcing me to pick sides. I cut off communication from both of them due to the pressure, and decided to do something positive in my life. I joined a gym. It cured all my social anxiety, my stammer was gone, I could look people in the eye, and I was getting a lot of attention from girls. This made me more angry than happy as I realised that these same girls did not care to talk to me before I got fit. I isolated myself at work too as I tried to distract myself in my work from my unstable life, but one girl would not let up and would actively touch me and try to get me to react to her. It was harassment, but I never reported her. I endured it for a year or two, then she left, and afterwards I left the country.
That’s awful, I’m sorry you had that experience— no one deserves to be harassed.
I’m interested in understanding your attitude about fitness and the female gaze if you’re willing to discuss it. Does the attention still upset you? Do you find that members of all genders treated you differently, or just woman?
The attention was the absolute last thing I wanted. I was trying to fade away into the wallpaper, and my unhealthy dieting/exercise regime was accomplishing that somewhat. My bosses and mentors expressed concern, but the girls at work expressed sudden interest, and it messed with my entire value system. Someone below mentions that this is typical incel behaviour, and maybe it was -- but all I wanted to do was to be left alone, and I wasn't allowed to