this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
205 points (97.2% liked)
Asklemmy
43722 readers
1696 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I do whatever the fuck I want, unless it is unpolite or could hurt somebody's freedom.
I learnt that, as I don't give a shit about what people are doing, they must also don't give a shit either. People just care about themselves most of the time. The day I realized that, I had a strong freedom feeling.
Having kids multiplied this attitude by 1000 and actually, I see people smiling and interacting with us while we're fooling around.
GO PLAY WITH FUCKING PUDDLES WEARING PINK PANTIES ON YOUR HEAD MY DUDE ! I might join you.
Ideally yes. But as a guy I have been insulted in public for small things like wearing nail polish, and that's in a liberal German city. Most people don't care, some don't like it, some compliment it and some make me feel unsafe.
And that of course has an effect in other areas too: what if my boss or my coworkers don't like me wearing nail polish? They would never be open about it (our company would not allow it), but it might lead to some bias against me. And as they wouldn't be open about it, I couldn't react to it (by calling them out or changing jobs). Instead I might just advance more slowly and wonder why that is. It really fucks with your mind, when you know there is bias against you (or something you do) but you never know in which situations it actually comes into play.
I still wear nail polish most of the time, because fuck the haters and we need to make progress somehow, but it's not as easy as "I don't care about them so they don't care about me".
I got you. Of course it's easier said than done. But you got to be nuanced and able to read the room. Maybe think ahead to avoid being in trouble (work, edgy neighborhoods).
But in the end, you must not care. Even insults. Insults have the value only you give to them.
Take care โฅ๏ธ