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Children are a burden.
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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Unpopular Opinion
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Literally standing in my kitchen right now reading this at 645am, awake since 4 because my sick 2 year old has been crying and screaming non stop, my wife in bed upstairs with our 2 day old new born, and I'm covered in peanut butter trying to make a nutritious lunch for my 5 year old for school. I have to wake her up soon to get her started. Make eggs for breakfast.
Her booster seat isn't fitting in the middle seat between my sons car seat and infant newborn car seat. So I have to fix that before we leave. My son is most likely drawing on the walls in the entertainment room.
And before 9 I need to feed the chickens and relieve my wife from her sleepless night with a newborn.
Burden is an understatement. Having a sore back is a burden. Having kids is a dynamic lifestyle change. And while sometimes I imagine not having kids and how amazing it would be to be free from that lifestyle, it always comes to the same conclusion: I wouldn't exchange my family life for anything. My children are me and I wouldn't remove them as much as I wouldn't remove my back because it was sore.
First of all, keep up the good work, it sounds like you're an awesome dad and husband my man. I never wanted kids but I now have 6, some of them put me through some shit but I wouldn't trade any of it for a child-free life.
How do you end up with 6 kids if you never wanted any?
A crazy amount of things, dem ass and titties, a partner you think you'd be together with forever, a partner that didn't believe in abortions, having one kid and thinking it wasn't so bad, lying to myself that it'd be no more than 2, did I mention dem ass and titties? Those can be so persuasive when the little guy is doing the thinking.
Dem ass and titties are not how she gets pregnant... I would blame education. (/s I know the feeling)
Someday I'll know where babies come from.
Hah! Nice and easy to understand answer. Welp, you'll have amazing family holidays when your kids have kids, and you'll have no shortage of people who can help you when you get old. I only had one kid and sometimes I regret it. I always imagined I'd have a lot of little kids to mentor when I hit middle age, but there are none. It's odd. I mean I enjoy the freedom, but there's definitely a different type of cost.
There is just so much more to it but the reality is I did have a bunch of kids with the same woman and I didn't want to be a shit parent like mine were so now I can't see my life without them and it is worth it. As for what the future holds for them as adults and me as being an old man is still waiting to be seen but I wouldn't turn away that life you described.
There are lots of people who are 40+ regretting not having kids and wanting their own now but it's just getting tougher. There is always kids in need of good mentors so check out things like Big Brother, Big Sisters or maybe coaching if you're into sports.
I have 6 kids but I still think about fostering kids since I can't adopt (they don't like single parents).
I actually have been thinking about fostering or adopting! It's an enormous commitment though, so it has only been a vague thought so far. My wife and I were talking about having a kid in 2019 and then 2020 happened and we decided we don't want to bring a new life into this world. But I wouldn't be entirely opposed to helping an existing life have a better one.
If you have the means and the love do it.
I know far more people who have children who regret than those who don't have kids and regret it.