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submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 234 points 5 months ago

I was abused by my ex-wife for years. The treatment I received from government agencies was more damaging than most of what I got from her.

Certain organisations that are used to inform governments, from elected officials to social workers are based on the assumption that only men are ever abusive, that all men are abusive and the women can do no wrong. It started with the Duluth model and was followed in Australia by a study done by White Ribbon that specifically excluded straight men from participating. I know this is the case as I attempted to participate and that is exactly what I was told at the time.

Our bureau of Statistics has clearly shown that at least ⅓ of victims are men.

[-] [email protected] 54 points 5 months ago

I had the same issues with my first wife. At one point when we were separated she attacked me in public and tried to steal my keys so she could take my car, while I was holding my kid. I had scratches all down the arm that wasn't holding my child, and I ended up retreating into a store, where she continued to attack me. When the cops showed up I was immediately cuffed, and she was treated as a victim, despite onlookers and even her telling them that she had attacked me. I would have definitely gotten booked except that a female officer was called to talk to her, realized what was going on, and made the male cops uncuff me and arrest her instead.

At the hearing for a restraining order the judge literally laughed, and gave her partial custody of the kid with no restraining order for either of us, and the local DA let her off with anger management courses and nothing on her permanent record.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 5 months ago

Did you keep photographs of the scratches? Even if they don’t become useful for you, they can be useful for history books when describing this problem in the future.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

I did for a few years, but it's been 15 years since this all happened, and I'm sure they have been lost in the shuffle.

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this post was submitted on 27 Jan 2024
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