this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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As the title states really. I need to refer to this diverse group of people, who somehow have gotten put in the same box labeled "sexual minorites".

I'm a boring CISHET vanilla white male, so I don't really know. I want to include as many as I can when I refer to "lgbtq+ people". I've been studying various flags, trying to find the one flag I need. But I can't really figure it out.

Is lgbtq+ the preferred term, or what should I use? Is a flag better? I don't want to hurt someone by not including them.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago (19 children)

Hello, I'm one of those queer people.

For my two cents, I find in conversations it's easiest to refer to it as the "queer community" or "gay community." If I'm feeling an acronym, the first one I reach for is LGBT. And that's me speaking as one of those q+ folks.

Now for me, I prefer to use Queer because it's sort of an umbrella term. For instance, all lesbians are queer, but not all queer people are lesbians. It's also great for people who don't like labels, because it doesn't pigeonhole someone into a specific box.

The term "queer" has a little history behind it too. When I was in middle school, being called queer was like, the ultimate insult. It was used pejoratively, and it felt bad to hear it. Nowadays we're reclaiming the word, and it loses its evilness. That all said, you can call people "queer," but don't call a person "a queer" or else you're being insulting. It's to be used like an adjective, not a noun.

For my money, this is the most inclusive flag without singling out a particular community.

Generally speaking, I don't like an overly verbose acronym. It's part of why I stop at LGBT or LGBTQ instead of going all the way to LGBTQ+, or as my government seems to want to say, LGBTQ2IA+. In my opinion, the effort to make the community more inclusive by adding more sub-communities to the acronym has the opposite effect.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 6 months ago (9 children)

Mm, problem is op is a cishet. We can use words like queer and alphabet mafia, but they are...different from the mouth of an outsider (for want of a better word)

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

What about saying quee without the hard 'r'?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Lmao i fucking love you

Queeyah, dahling. We're all terribly queeyah

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