Relationship Advice
Welcome to the Relationship Advice community on Lemmy and Kbin!
The ideal place to ask for help with your relationships: romantic, friendships, we don't know what we are yet, co-workers or just human interactions in general.
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Rules can be clicked on to be expanded.
1: Treat all users with respect. [!]
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Your title and body need to contain enough information relevant to your situation, such as ages, genders, and the relationship between people mentioned. For privacy-related concerns, we recommend using fake names and broad general locations.
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Comments must be directly related to helping OP, asking for more information, providing relevant resources or otherwise relevant to the thread. Off-topic comments and remarks, suspicious attempts at gathering personal data from OP or other readers, or bullying will not be tolerated.
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Moral judgements, "AITA?" and other similar questions are better served by different communities.
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As a temporary measure and the result of a poll, Reddit reposts are allowed following an expanded set of rules: https://lemmy.world/post/317115
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For violations of our rules, we follow a “3 strike” system as follows:
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Related communities:
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Adulting: [email protected]
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No Stupid Questions: [email protected]
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Mental Health [email protected]
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Wait… Rush is right wing? Like… the prog rock band? I never knew their music was super political to begin with.
Edit: it wasn’t the rock band. It was something worse :c
Anyway! As a guy who has seen some friends fall down that rabbit hole, unfortunately you can’t reason someone out of a position they didn’t reason themselves into. A lot of the time those extreme and radical positions are a reaction to a skewed perception of reality. Perhaps he feels his wife wronged him and is projecting that pain onto other people (women in this case), or perhaps the reason his wife divorced him is because he’s so committed to his misogynist beliefs, he would rather let his marriage go down the drain.
In any case, he probably feels the need to always reaffirm his worldview because the alternative (that he can improve as a person and that his personal shortcomings can only be blamed on himself) is probably too painful to face.
Very frequently, these people probably need to build a safety net, a support group, and go to therapy, but they’re so off the deep end, it’s too hard to take any of those steps, so it becomes a vicious circle of blaming others because they’re alone, and staying alone because they always blame others.
The best thing that can happen to any of these people is an experience that fundamentally shakes their reality. Getting into Buddhism, or moving to a different country, or going back to college, basically anything that changes their status quo, because their status quo has been inherently built and curated around their own beliefs and worldview. They can’t leave it now.
If you want to help him, you have to find a way to disrupt his status quo and perhaps hope that leads him down a more positive path, but unfortunately, once someone has started buying into heavy incel theory, they feel more comfortable staying there than looking beyond their own noses. I’m not sure you could do much for him. I’m sure deep inside he knows blaming women for his own faults is stupid, but he also refuses to blame himself, so… someone like that won’t be likely to improve. Ever.
God I wish I’d never heard of Rush Limbaugh. Grew up with his trash 🤢