this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2024
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What happened to “we dismantled Hamas in Northern Gaza and are completely in charge”?
Hamas is actually not a group of people. It's a fungus that grows only in hospitals. The Hamas fungus can be eradicated by drowning it in the blood of innocent Palestinian civilians.
Actually Hammas is spread by contact. If you touched someone who lived next door to someone who's family dog was given to them by someone who had a family member join Hamas, then you become Hamas too.
The only way to innoculate yourself against this pathogen is by loudly and vigorously condemning Hamas for at least two minutes a day.
It should however be noted that condemning Hamas, and having absolutely no affiliation with any of their members provides no protection against Israeli forces mistaking you for a Hamas fighter and subsequently shooting/bombing/starving you to death.