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I'd say Void linux and opensuse also qualify for the "No time for distrowars" section.
For me it was Ubuntu straight to CentOS, then settled on RedHat
You used CentOS as a desktop? That's Gentoo level of commitment.
Debian user here... Just works and has been working since '95 here. After Slackware 1.3 and Redhat (non EL) 4.2 I was fed up with reinstalls for major upgrades, so I switched to Debian. It just works, most of the times. (for the first time in decades I had to revert a kernel to the previous version, that what you get running testing ;) )
Am I a guru, I doubt it but I don't care, I'm lazy enough to stick with what I know, but not to lazy to dive into new things. (but not until I absolutely have to)
I haven't tried using arch since I was 12, and even after all these years the experience makes me feel like such a poser, I didn't even manage to compile the kernel, and gave up before I had anything resembling an OS.