I had read that there were Roman census records that proved a Rabbi named Jesus did live at about the right time, but now I can't find a source to back that up, so that's probably bunk.
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There are no such records. Just having any extant census records from the Roman Empire would have pretty sensational, let alone some stemming from Judea at the supposed time of Jesus.
Seems likely. There’s probably a Rabbi named David somewhere today too.
Yeah, but the odds of census records surviving that long are pretty low. Apparently, there are references to Jesus from some Roman historians that scholars think corroborate his existence, but they come about 100 years after Jesus supposedly lived, so they're not exactly evidence.
Jesus never led an army or ruled a country, so we cannot have coins bearing His face or remnants of an army, etc. However, there is plenty of physical proof of the early Church. There is evidence of pilgrimages to Bethlehem early on and Jerusalem as well, such as the church of the Holy Sepulchre, which is a plausible candidate for Jesus' actual tomb.
Yeah, I've got one of his toes in my car
You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish.
There's the Talpiot Tomb
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talpiot_Tomb
It might not be him but also it might.
After reading that page, I strongly suspect that's not him. It's all based on statistical modeling, and it's been heavily massaged. Even with that, they give it 1/600 odds (on the low end) of it being random chance, which those aren't bad odds.
Apparently the inscriptions are partially illegible, so assuming it's even correct their statistical model is based on the name Mariamne being Mary Magdelene (which is clearly not the name we remember her by) and being Jesus's wife, Maria being the mother, and Jesus having a son, which we didn't know about, named Judah, as well as a few other assumption that really do not feel like they should be making.
Even making a ton of assumptions, the odds are still not particularly convincing. It feels like something that can increase someone's faith if they don't question it, but if you examine it at all reveals how much people are reaching to prove what they already want to believe.