I dont read any emails because I just assume our cyber people are trying to phish me again.
Yellow, it is me your very trusty worth Cyber Security Personal that works for {your company name here}
I have some files that need opened right away to fix problems on local systems.
Attachments=
Wannacry.exe
Borat.exe
YouareanIdiot.exe
FreeMoney.wallpaper
BitcoinMiner.msi
veryImportaintPDF.pdf
Typically, this means:
You control 2 of those. The first two have the same solution, send less mail, and label your crap messages as such. (We all have crap mail we need to send to meet technical obligations, but label it to be easily filtered.)
My manager only ever reads the first 2 lines of an email. Very annoying when there's a complex issue that needs more than 2 sentences to explain and he wants to know all the details. I swear he must've read it on a list of "x number of things that highly successful people do" and now he lives by it.
I am a big fan of BLUF (Bottom Line Up Front). Condense your entire email to a single sentence and then explain afterward.
The person you're emailing will see the key point immediately (maybe even in the lede). If they agree with you, you're good. If not, they can then read your explanation.
If the email is so complex I can't explain it one sentence, that's usually when I consider asking for a meeting or try to reduce further.
Example:
Hi {boss},
I think we should do X.
X is the best way to do Y because it can be automated and reproduced sustainably.
Etc. Etc. Supporting details...
Let me know if you'd like to meet to discuss further, {Name}
That's pretty close to what I do. Imagine your manager asking a question that you answer in your supporting details question, so you have to repeat your answer. Then he asks another question that is also answered in that section. I used to reply underlining where I answer it specifically, but have given up as it made no difference.
What’s an “emails”?
Did ya, get that, thing i sent you?
I have been asked why I didn't tell my boss about a problem I had been sending him tracking data for over a year about.
Only reason I wasn't even more blunt explaining that was because my boss is also my dad.
You probably elaborate too much. I used to do that too. If it doesn't fit in a few short lines better communicate directly (call or meeting).
If it's too long for email but should be written down, write a document and send a link. Weirdly, it's easier to get people to read a document than a longish message.
Not really how that meme format is used but ok
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