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A seating chart for an "8 HOUR FLIGHT" with the text "PICK YOUR SEAT" at the top. The chart is composed of 10 numbered seats, each occupied by a different famous Republican politician or public figure, or the devil. Each number represents a seat, and each seat is either adjacent to or between one or two different individuals.
Just strap me to the wing.
As a non-American, I only recognize Donald Trump and Hulk Hogan in this picture. I would pick seat 7. The person in front of me looks innocent, and behind me is a woman, so she probably isn’t too tall and won't kick my chair. She might even allow me to recline my seat. I don't know much about Hulk Hogan, but he seems like a cool dude, and I like his mustache. Tell me, did I choose wisely?
Ted Cruz always looks like a dog that just shit on your carpet.
4: I can egg him on all flight and seed some new conspiracies. Maybe even record everything and send it to the lawyer handling the sandyhook case.
Pilot seat cause I'm gunna crash the plane
It's so freaking hard to choose because I want all of those seats.
It's not a matter of not wanting to sit next to them it's that I want to make all of their trips as horrible as possible.
I think if I had to though, I'd take 10 if it was the middle seat. I'd spend the entire trip punching them in the groin.
Next to Hogan I'll at least get to hear his absurd lies and he can tell me stories about wrestling, though the stories won't be accurate.
I'm between Green and Boebert, I might get a handjob but I'll get a brain aneurysm... Tough choices
I mean I bet the devil would be super interesting. Great conversationalist, too. Almost...seductive.
5 because JD Vance is DEFINITELY a closeted bottom, and as much as he sucks, he's pretty hot ngl
This is why I don't fly.
9 for the lawls, 5 for a nap.
Maybe 4 so I don't risk JD mistaking me for cushions while I'm passing by for the bathroom.
I turn around and take the next flight
Fuck it, I'll walk at this point.
10, I can watch the show in front while the guy next to me turtle crawls to the grave
And if I get bored as a constituent I have words for Vance and I’m not afraid to speak across an aisle to inform him what I think
I'll walk, thanks.
10 For Sure!
Both of these assholes think they deserve respect.
It would be so much fun to needle them.
Just storm the cockpit and crash the plane. Good sacrifice.
1
I get to kick trumps seat and put shit in his hair all flight long. I'm not worried about Nick id just kick his ass.
#4. At least you could get Alex talking about lizard people and stuff.
4 because I'd love to see what that dude was like in an untelevised conversation.
I'd go with 9 to shred any remaining will to live left in me.
5 does not have any open seat. Would likely go with 3 I'll make a deal with Satan to erase all this people in the plane, for my unborn child.
5 is relatively safe, since I'm not a sofa. I can handle awkward silence.
3 could probably be a good time. He's a dick, sure, but he's probably not as annoying as any of the others.
If I'm gonna get to tell people about this story, I'm not gonna settle for the 2nd best reason that your flight complaint doesn't register on the scale I've dealt with. I'm going for the best. It can literally only go up from here.