Hockey

Official Statement from Bill Armstrong, Arizona Coyotes GM according to @mcclxsky on twitter:

“I’d heard somewhere that he was a point per game player in Colorado last season, so we signed him.

Then, this morning… the dial-up’s a little spotty at the Mullett but I noticed my staff had been conglomerating on the other side of the building near a window where they could tether to the wifi from the Starbucks across the street. I hadn’t been online in weeks. I’d brought my laptop over there earlier today and finally had a chance to look this kid up on hockeydb. I realized ‘shit, it was the Colorado Eagles, not the Avalanche.’

It was a tough decision to let Alex go. We had to factor in the cost of both terminating the contract and making a long distance call to the NHL office. Our capologist, who’s great with money by the way - best in the league, Id argue - suggested I just call them collect and announce the termination super quickly when I record my name, so that’s what we did.

If any of you have a chance to talk to Alex, please let him know.”