People Twitter

That's what proper kitchen tools are for.

I have a vegetable chopper.

Lid off, onions in, lid on, turn ten times, chopped onions.

Get yourself tools that allow you to be lazy without compromising on quality

Lazy is relative.

Ordering food delivered is the laziest.

My go-to "lazy" meal is a Caesar salad with salmon. Wash the romaine lettuce leaves, stick them in a bowl. Add store-bought dressing (don't make your own), store-bought croutons (don't make your own), and grate some Parmesean cheese (less lazy than using pre-grated, but it loses flavor too quickly for the pre-grated stuff to be worth the money). Salt & pepper the salmon fillets, add some flour. Melt some ghee in a pan on medium-high, sear the salmon for 3m30s/side (start with the skin side up).

The whole thing takes under 10 minutes. Some of you will complain this isn't lazy, but look what I compare it to!

My least lazy meal is a meat lasagna.

White Sauce

1.5l milk
1 onion, thickly sliced
3 bay leaves
3 cloves
100g butter (clarified butter or ghee works too)
100g plain (all purpose) flour
3g grated nutmeg
2g salt
2g MSG (not traditional, but Uncle Roger would be disappointed if you skipped it in any savory dish)
5g black pepper
5g long pepper (older style, predates the introduction of black pepper to Italy. More aromatic, less pungent, can skip)

Meat Sauce

45ml (3tbsp) olive oil
2 celery sticks, finely chopped
1 onion, finely chopped
1 carrot, finely chopped
3 garlic cloves, peeled & crushed
140g cubetti di pancetta or guanciale
500g beef mince
500g pork mince
2x 400g cans chopped tomato
200ml milk
2 bay leaves
1 rosemary sprig
2 thyme sprigs
1.5g dried oregano
2 beef stock cubes
500ml red wine
2g salt
2g MSG

Lasagna

about 400g dried lasagna sheets
50g Parmesean, finely grated

Steps:

Start the white sauce. Put the milk, onion, bay leaves, and cloves into a saucepan and bring very gently just up to a boil. Turn off the heat and set aside. Grind the salt, MSG, black pepper, and long pepper together into a fine powder in a mortar and pestle.

Start the red sauce. Put the oil, celery, onion, carrot, garlic, and pancetta or guanciale into a large pot. Gently cook together until the vegetables are soft but not changing color. Add the beef & pork mince, the milk, and the chopped tomatoes. Using a wooden spoon, stir together and break up the lumps of mince against the sides of the pan. When it's mostly broken down, stir in all the herbs, the stock cubes, and the red wine. Cover and cook for 1 hour, stirring occasionally to stop the bottom from catching.

Uncover the red sauce and let it gently simmer for another 30 minutes to 1 hour until the meat is tender & saucy. Taste & season as desired.

To finish the white sauce, strain the milk through a fine sieve into a temporary container. Using the same pan, melt the butter and then, using a wooden spoon, mix in the flour and cook for 2 minutes. Stir in the strained milk gradually. It will thicken at first to a doughy paste, but keep going slowly adding milk to avoid lumps. Bring to a gentle simmer, stirring constantly (if you have lumps whisk it to break them up). Cook a few minutes until thickened. Season with salt, MSG, black pepper, long pepper, and nutmeg.

Heat the oven to 180°C/160°C fan/gas 4. Spread a spoonful of the meat sauce on the base of a roughly 3.5l baking dish. Cover with a single layer of pasta sheets, snapping them to fit if needed, then top with a quarter of the white sauce. Spoon over a third of the meat sauce & scatter over some Parmesean. Repeat the layers—pasta, white sauce, meat sauce, and Parmesean—two more times to use all the meat sauce. Add a final layer of pasta, the last of the white sauce, and the remaining Parmesean. Sit the dish on a baking sheet to catch any spills and bake for 1 hour until bubbling, browned, and crisp on top.

Do the dishes while the lasagna bakes.

Serve the lasagna.

That takes about an hour for the mise en place, and around 3 hours 10 minutes for cooking, total 4 hours 10 minutes. That makes it a weekend-only meal.

"Lazy" is relative.

I don't get it. Chopping an onion is basically nothing. It takes like 2 minutes.