GayBros

I accidentally fell for my best friend at work, who I think is pretty much completely straight, or at least isn't into me in that way at all. We still had a great time back then.

One day after about 7 years that I had really enjoyed, there was a comfort break in a project meeting we were in and pretty much everyone was stood up and talking or leaving and we just kinda didn't get up.

I frowned at the table for a bit and then looked at him.

"You know I have the hots for you, don't you." I said.

"Yeah, totally." he replied.

"Ahhh, eerrrrr." (completely lost in his eyes)

"Mmmm." (low, compelling, nodding)

And that was it. Someone from Marketing interrupted our silence with something so completely uninteresting I actually had to stop from laughing at the contrast.

We carried on as normal. I carried on quietly lusting after him and loving being his friend for another couple of years before getting transferred to another branch in another county. We're still in touch and go out together occasionally (as friends).

We never mentioned it again. Ever.

Sam, if for some strange reason you're reading this, yes I would, any time you wanted. Stud.

I have two dumb ones, but here it goes.

(1) This one is more of a missed connection... In high school, I went to a regional robotics competition (FRC). I was a total dweeb at the time (and still am, I suppose) and mostly kept to myself. During the competition, we'd set up booths in a large event hall, similar to how trade shows are laid out. Our neighboring team had this an adorable and verrrry outgoing guy, who I was crushing on the entire time. He was unfathomably cute and I couldn't help but steal glances every few minutes. I would feel butterflies every time he looked over. Even looking back many years later, I can still feel it.

At some point, he came over and started talking to me. I was stumbling on my words the entire time. I don't remember it entirely, but at some point, we hugged for what felt like an eternity. I wish I could remember what led up to it. But being an horny and touch-starved teenager, the hug instantly gave me a boner in the middle of a crowded convention hall. I pretended to tie my shoe while my blood pressure settled a bit. He grabbed my arm and started leading me toward a less-crowded part of the hall.

That's when my teammate came up to me and reminded me that I'm not allowed to go anywhere without a partner/teammate present. And that was that. I never saw him again. I wish I had gotten his number. I still rue that nothing came of it.

(2) In my early 20s, I met this guy on Grindr (or maybe Tinder), very much my type. I was head-over-heels for him and I was hoping he felt the same. Maybe I was a bitter and misanthropic 20-something-year-old, but I felt like he truly was a good person, genuinely beautiful on both the inside and out. We were going at it for months (or maybe a year+?) and it had gotten to the point where he met my friends and some family. I thought things were going swimmingly.

He decided to join Peace Corps. And we ended things mutually.

He came back a few years later and re-settled in our city. On a couple occasions, we had beers and chatted. At some point, we went to the movies, shared a joint, and I spent a night with him and we just cuddled for a night. He never really expressed interest in anything romantic during his return, so I chose to not pursue it further.

We're still friends on Facebook and I love seeing and hearing about his journey through life. But I don't know if he was ever interested in anything more. I still sometimes go through pictures of him and it gives me a big goofy smile seeing him. Ugh.

tl;dr: I was chasing someone who I couldn't tell if he was interested in a romantic relationship or not