this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 46 comments
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[–] [email protected] 77 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Ooooh, America bad, they're shooting their obese healthcare again.

Jokes on you, he's not shooting the fish, he's shooting the woke rainbow. Get it straight.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 10 months ago (4 children)

I've seen "joke's on you" written dozens of times, but absolutely everybody misses the apostrophe WTF

[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Jokes on you, a plural amount of them, must be what they mean. Where are the rest of the jokes motherfuckers!?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Perhaps he is addressing the jokes directly.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

Jokes on you, there ain't no apostrophe

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

That was a[n unspecified] quantity of jokes.

Like 5, 6… maybe 7!… jokes on you.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

I've seen "joke's on you" written dozens of times, but absolutely everybody misses the apostrophe WTF

American education system.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

And if some of the fish happen to get killed in the process, that's just a bonus.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This is just shameful. You are a bad person and you should feel bad. Also, I shared this with like 10 people already.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Dude. You can't shame me into feeling bad. That's my mother's job, and she's FANTASTIC at it.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

She's fantastic at another job as well. 😉

[–] tigeruppercut 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

No, a blowjob. Yeah, she really knows how to work that leafblower to get the sidewalks clean.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 10 months ago

This joke is so old it statistically won't die in a school shooting

[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago (1 children)

To be fair, if some fish had guns and used them in self defense it would absolutely stop me from ever fishing again.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)

There's a kind of fish called an archerfish that shoots jets of water from it's mouth at insects to knock them down. Those ones probably have the mental capacity for calculating trajectories to at least aim one I imagine, if you gave them a weapon modified with some kind of mechanism for one to fire it

[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Archerfish have NOTHING on mantis shrimp, though:

Source: The Oatmeal

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

😘👌 🤣

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

Their punch contains 1500 Newtons of force, which shows how much of a sissy punch Newton must have had.

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source; check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Eh, the police fish would just keep all the good armed fish out of the area.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

All the popular fishing areas with dense populations would get marked as "gun free zones" to make it easier for the fishermen.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago

…you called?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

swimming in thoughts and prayers

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I know this is a shit post but in case anyone doesn't know: never shoot bullets at water.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Not a 'murican so have no experience with firearms - what's the danger here? Ricochets off the water?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

There's that, there's also just that they don't go in very far, doesn't work very well.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

That's why Supply Side Jesus sells grenades

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Steven Spielberg made a movie about the good fish in the '70s. It didn't go well for the fish.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

You just need to rebuild the stream so it's more like a prison, job done.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Catfish? Nah

Gatfish

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Haha, but like wtf?