this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2023
16 points (100.0% liked)

Asklemmy

43945 readers
641 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy πŸ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Tell the best experience or interaction you had on Reddit, and the worst one.

The best for me would be when r/egg_irl helped me realize I was in fact, not cis. Or when r/aspiememes helped me comprehend that my psychologist at the time was wrong. The worst one would be every single time I had to deal with powertriping mods or when I had to fight the rampant transphobia in the platform.

top 26 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I publicly called out a user whose photo was on the front page of a local publication for racking up over $10,000 in unpaid red light tickets (at about $75 per offense).

He threatened to sue me in response. The cognitive dissonance πŸ˜‚

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Don't really know what the "best" experience was. I can't say there was anything life changing for me. It was nice to have access to so much stuff in a very well designed app (Apollo) that let me share that content super easily with friends and family via Whatsapp or Telegram.

Worst interactions? There were many...the groupthink can be real bad. There are a lot of people who take karma very seriously. There was one sub, dedicated to a podcast, and it was clear there was a person that had six or seven alts because of the language they used and the debate style, and they would get so upset and downvote any disagreeing comment. Other subs had plenty of trolling, transphobia, shitty moderators, etc. Other subs became basically unusable because of how large they got and how many people posted "hey, look at me!" low effort content. You know, "art I did of X character" with 2,600 upvotes for what was a 10th grader type drawing done on a notebook. That kind of kills the visibility of posts with the potential for deeper or more meaningful conversation that don't get as many upvotes.

In the end I think the main issue with Reddit is that it got too big. It attracted too many people on a superficial level, too many trolls, and most subs worth visiting at this point are dedicated to niche subjects and have smallish communities.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My best experience was help with learning python. The community was great then and a lot of helpful people.

My worst experience was opening up about my sexual abuse that happened to me from the ages of 4 to 14 by my grandfather and brother who is 9 years older than me. Because of the subs rules I had to leave a lot of stuff out. People didn't believe me and started attacking me and calling me a lair when I was just looking for some support after cutting my family off. I had another post but it was on a FB group called tell someone. There I could post all the details. I had to dm all the people attacking me and calling me a liar that FB post. They felt horrible afterwards which wasn't my attention, but thet saw the truth then. It was really discouraging at a time when I didn't have a lot of support from family or friends.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Yeah it's insane how many people immediately jump to call you a liar when you post things like that. I guess the environment's been poisoned by all the people making up stuff for karma. The karma concept sounds great in theory but becomes toxic quickly.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Best experience: A bunch of strangers getting bored during lockdown and setting up an impromptu hemotology class to amuse each other. This eventually became more of a generalized whatever-today's-instructor-likes class after one user stole the entire show with their brilliant rant about chemistry.

He and I were pretty good friends for a while and though parting ways was inevitable, I'm still sad to have had to. We can't get along, but I do miss him and I wish him well.

Worst experience: every time I posted anything about my mental situation ever. Without fail, Δ° would come away with multiple of the shallow, dismissive "oHH, if everywhere smells like shit, check your shoes!!" reply. They've never taken the time to think it out, but they know it's snarky enough to win upvotes and shut down the conversation.

I'm forced to assume the people parroting this are themselves abusers irl, because that's sure as shit not a sentiment r/raisedbynarcissists would take well to. Or really any PTSD-centered community/professional. Trying to convince the victim it's their fault is a common tactic, it's what the R in DARVO stands for.

If I needed someone to tell me I deserved to get beat with a table leg, I'd still be talking to my mom.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I can't say there was a worst interaction, but there's two candidates for best. The first is that when he was just starting out, shittywatercolour painted one of my photographs.
The second is not just a reddit thing, but about 7 years ago I wrote a tutorial for r/fanfiction on how to use calibre to save stories from various websites. It was well received at the time, but since them ive had multiple times where people said it was useful, including one a couple weeks ago on a completely different website.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

how to use calibre to save stories from various websites

That sounds amazing. You have a link to your guide? maybe here or in another platform? I love Calibre and didn't know that was possible.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Here you go! It's on the sidebar in r/fanfiction. I've been meaning to update it, so once there's a decently populated lemmy fanfiction community I'll put it there.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

You use a plugin called Fanficfare to get it to work, though the news feature is good for blogs and other sites! Here's the tutorial.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Good: I got support from people when things in my DnD group got weird.

Bad: Once, I asked a technical question that I had asked people irl and researched a lot and not found what I was looking for. On reddit, I had people making assumptions and nitpicking the terminology while avoiding the actual question completely. It was a good example of the CS/math departments friction (which makes a whole lot more sense to me now). I did get a better answer on another site by just posting the equation and using zero jargon but I ended up abandoning that topic bc it was impractical.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I don't have a specific worst. The best was when I was complaining about my [then] wife for the umpteenth time. I don't remember which sub it was. Someone responded with, "Are you familiar with Borderline Personality Disorder? If not, you should look it up."

I did look it up. It explained everything I had seen up to that point. It is as like someone had written a text book about my wife. I was both relieved and terrified.

That was the starting point of getting out of that awful abusive relationship and getting my life back on track.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Gated communities on Reddit suck.

A thread hits /r/all, you type out a long comment in reply to someone, hit send.. then get an automod message that your comment was denied. Because you aren't part of that subreddit, or you aren't verified in that subreddit.

Probably the worst example was /r/blackpeopletwitter. They have open threads where you can talk with people. Then at some point they lock down their threads (make it verified black users only) and your next comment in a chain of replies simply gets nuked. Even though you had a civil discussion and just wanted to continue it.

Often those threads aren't even about race, just general things happening. Reddit has shitty support to lock things down where the UI doesn't get greyed out. So you already type a long reply, hit send and only then you get kicked out. I had to block several of those subreddits because I kept running into this issue when browsing /r/all.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Interaction with r/conservatives. I made a comment that I downvote memes that dumb down complex ideas. I was banned for it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Tl;Dr: Banned from Ask a Trump Supporter for apologizing.

Once, I was young and care free - an Innocent. I thought: If only they could see the data they would believe! And, I was uniquely prepared to help them see and understand (I was working on Data viz at the time). And so I started posting in Ask a Trump Supporter. And we got into it. And, well, the dude had a point.

When you're wrong your wrong, so I apologized. And, I included a question mark in the apology.

Bam banned just like that for violating rule xyz about asking questions in the comments.

Never been so happy to be banned. Probably saved my marriage.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

My worst experience came just before the API disaster started. Someone posted on the ELI5 subreddit asking what autistic people experience when they are nonverbal. Now, I'm autistic and, while I'm verbal most of the time, I do have moments where I can't speak even though I want to. Typically in moments of high emotion or stress. (It feels like the words are in my brain, but the highway to my mouth has a twenty car pileup blocking all traffic.)

My comment was upvoted many times and many people replied positively to my comment. Then, suddenly, my comment was deleted. The mod said that because this was my personal experience, it was too subjective. Meaning, only an "objective" experience from someone who wasn't autistic would be allowed.

Needless to say, I was upset and needed to vent. I vented in the Autism subreddit about the situation and got people replying in support of me. Now, I did make a mistake where people started asking to see my original comment and I posted a screenshot. That was on me - especially because I forgot to blank out the original poster's name. (In my defense, I had nothing against the OP or their question so nothing lept to mind saying "better blank that out.")

The whole thread was suddenly deleted from the Autism subreddit for "doxing." I deleted the person's username and asked for the thread to be restored. Instead, I was given a 30 day ban. Then, I quickly got notified that I was permanently banned from ELI5 for "sh*t-stirring." My goal was never "raise an army of autistic people to attack the ELI5 mods," but just "blow off steam for something I felt wasn't just."

I decided not to contest either and just stop going to either sub. In fact, I was deciding to reevaluate my Reddit use altogether. And then the API debacle started.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

College football subreddit on game day was amazing. Gonna miss that

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Agreed with this. The saddest part of cutting reddit off for me was losing all the sports subs, they were really the only place I routinely posted and interacted with. There reddit did feel like a community instead of just a link aggregator.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

My best Reddit experiences were where Reddit facilitated meeting people "IRL". I found my first D&D group on Reddit, made 3 great penpal friends, scored a couple dates, ..., and one romantic relationship.

I really don't know my worst... A couple times I let people get under my skin, but I eventually got good at blocking people.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

The best experience for me was two actually. Both times they ran r/place were my favourite experiences I've had on the internet. I truly cannot describe how wonderful the experience was, as well as how interesting it was from a sociological or anthropological perspective. People coming together to build and destroy art by placing one pixel at a time. It was also a cool representation of resource scarcity. At the beginning, everyone was able to build what they wanted, but as time went on and space came at more and more of a premium, the wars over space became more and more intense. I'm done with Reddit (haven't touched it since the start of the blackout) but if r/place ever comes back, I will take part in it until it's over.

Worst was briefly getting brigaded by a toxic community mass downvoting and commenting toxic stuff on my recent posts.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I once had a post blow up and spend two days featured on r/all. It was great to see so many people reacting positively to something I wrote!

I also love the old Reddit switcharoo. Having a big, silly inside joke really made the site feel welcoming.

The worst is that moment when I realize I've been mindlessly scrolling down my front page for who knows how long, just pissing my life away doing nothing of value.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

My favourite Reddit moment was when I managed to connect with the dev of a script which I needed for work. He was kind enough to troubleshoot my case with it, and I'll be forever thankful for him for that.
My least favorite thing about Reddit was all the casual downvoting, and especially seeing mine and others' comments being downvoted out of disagreement. Depending on the subreddit of course. To me Reddit was never a community thing, but rather a platform to exchange information and share links. Forums that I frequent provide me that community fix.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Worst, up until the current fiasco, was having told a very deeply personal and unique story, but being torn to shreds because I wrote it pretty. That meant it had to be fake.

It taught me the lesson to never waste effort on reddit.

But the best was kinda the flip side of it. Similar thing, talking about death and dying, which was a large part of professional life, and despite writing it pretty, it resonated with people and I got some really nice conversations commiserating about the way that can change you.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

I wasn't on Reddit for long, but guys from r/avoidchineseproducts helped me a lot. I offered them to move to Lemmy, but my message wasn't published. Also, there was another sub (I don't remember which exactly), where I couldn't write any message! (I didn't spam or else.)

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Dunno about best, but I had a few instances where I posted a thread only for it to be deleted by a mod and then reposted by them. Gotta farma that karma. I maybe could have disputed it, but getting into a tussle over someones love for numbers that go up feels a bit pathetic.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Best thing about Lemmy is that there’s no concept of Karma!

load more comments
view more: next β€Ί