this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2024
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Not The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 77 points 9 months ago (3 children)

If you've ever lived in a rural area, this isn't even remotely onion level weird.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I was thinking the same. I knew a Burger King like this. Perhaps surprisingly, it was one of the cleaner, more well-maintained BKs I've visited.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 9 months ago (2 children)

If you're doing some real illegal stuff, you don't want an inspection just because you didn't keep your frier up to spec

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Exactly, one crime at a time, baby!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

It's something I see a lot on Cops (the TV show). They pull someone over because one of their brake lights is out or they went through a stop sign or something like that, and it turns out they have drugs in the car or a warrant for their arrest or something similar. It seems like some of them would get away with it if they didn't give police any reason to pull them over.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Most criminals aren't very intelligent.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Ah, I see they sold Adderall

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Rural? Ha! I live in a medium city, suburbs’ish, and 30 years ago I could go through the taco bell drive thru to get weed. This isn’t a new idea.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Same. I grew up in Fort Worth and used to buy weed and LSD at the burger king drive thru. The manager was the dealer and we had code words for stuff. Whopper with extra lettuce was weed obviously. He'd ask, "how many?" to define the amount. For the acid we would say, "make sure the order is correct, I'm not making 2 (3,4,etc..) trips back here.".

Those were good times. Plus the dude was born with no right hand and we had all went to school together and had tons of great nick names for him like, "the one handed bandit" or, "the one handed hash slinger" or my favorite, "the handy man". Before you think I'm an ass he's the one who gave himself these names.

The best thing was watching him weigh out a bag with a postal scale and roll it up all with one hand. For a dude with half the amount of usual hands he was incredibly handy. You had to hand it to him.

Also when you left he would stick out his arm and say give me some nub. You know, instead of a fist bump.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Lol the handy man

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Is this a secret menu item? Do I ask for combo #420 or something?

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Yeah I used get my weed from the sonic.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I remember that our KFC got busted by selling because the code was for "an extra biscuit". I was like "who doesn't order extra biscuits?!" Dumbest code word ever.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Hot eats

Cool treats

Now let’s dig a hole in the yard

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

"Cool treats"

It's not called Ice for nothin'...

[–] [email protected] 33 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (3 children)

This is pedantic but it annoys me every time I hear someone say it, let alone see it in writing: amphetamine can be plural; methamphetamine never is. Meth is an amphetamine, technically a substituted amphetamine, one of several such amphetamines.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (4 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Would you like the Large MethDouble combo or just the meth?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

You are articulating more like a shroom user

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (4 children)

I'll take 2 methamphetamine please

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

Okay but you're probably going to want more.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Sorry, what's the action you want corrected?

I don't want to look like a idiot if I ever buy no no drugs.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Please trust me when I say that buying meth, if you never have, is dumber than anything I was talking about.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

That said, the fine folk distributing meth aren't exactly the shiniest crystals in the batch.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Goddammit I've been buying meth wrong all these years!

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago

It's genius, once all your teeth fall out what are you going to want to eat? Soft serve!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Back in the 90s, I was an exchange student in Australia, and there was a Pizza Hut where you could place an order for "1 stick of garlic bread" and they'd sell you weed.

I also recall a Wienerschnitzel near my mom's apartment in Sacramento, CA selling cocaine out the drive-thru window around the same time period.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago

Now that's a way to keep your customers coming back!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I used to work at a major fast food restaurant with a drive-thru. My coworker sold weed through that drive-thru.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

My stepfather knew a guy who delivered pizzas and the people who wanted him to deliver weed with the pizza requested him specifically. Dude made enough as a pizza delivery guy that he was able to buy a hella fancy sports car. Tbh, the idea was gold and I'm happy he was successful lol.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (8 children)

i mean just leave them be

what, are people gonna just stop doing meth because the cops made it slightly harder to get?

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)

My town had a local shawarma place get busted for cocaine smuggling. I always laughed at the thought of some new guy getting nervous.

"Anything to drink, sir?"
"Do you guys have any coke?"
"ABSOLUTELY NOT! WHO TOLD YOU THAT?? GET OUT OF HERE!"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

is pepsiphetamine ok instead?

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Royal Amphetamine Blizzard, limited time only

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

Oh! You didn't turn it upside down! It's free!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

My hometown had the Dairy Queen raided by the DEA back in the early 90s. They sold all sorts of drugs off of a secret menu.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

lol my home town had a restaurant I worked at that was a huge front and was raided by the DEA during peak hours.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

That location is always out of straws.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

It's true what they say, you can get meth at the dairy Queen in Clifton, Texas

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

In the town I used to live, it was the KFC instead. The Ford lot across the street was where they cooked it.

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