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We've been getting some weird posts lately that... Well, they're not making me think it's gotta be an Onion headline, that's for sure.

So just a little refresher. Posts should be:

  1. Links to news stories from…
  2. …credible sources, with…
  3. …their original headlines, that…
  4. …would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

If it's not Onion-y, it doesn't belong here. Bizarre, horrific, and violent news can be here if the headline reads like something out of The Onion, but if it doesn't, it's going away. And if there's too much non-Onion-like content from an account, that account is going away, too.

If you're not sure whether the real news headline you've found is like The Onion, here's a few sample Onion headlines from today:

  • "Visiting Friend Pleasantly Surprised By City’s Open Hostility Toward Homeless People"
  • "Increasingly Powerful Trans Person Capable Of Using Every Single Bathroom At Once"
  • "Man Feels Like Bystanders Are Arguing For Him To Put Gun Down In Bad Faith"
  • "Wally The Emotional Support Alligator Went To See The Phillies"
  • ‘New York Times’ Issues Apology For Reporting Palestinian Deaths

See? Find headlines from real news outlets that remind you of headlines like those. And just to prove my point: One of them is real.

Links to news stories from… …credible sources, with… …their original headlines, that… …would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

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submitted 4 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Hi folks,

No, this is not The Onion. This news is real! We really do have a moderator now! So, welcome!

The Rules

The rules here are simple. Posts must be 1) links to news stories from 2) credible sources, that 3) would make people who see the headline think, "That has got to be a story from The Onion, America's Finest News Source." In the comments, you must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that's basically it!

I'll get the sidebar and header updated as soon as possible, but don't let that delay you from sharing the latest exploits of Florida Man or whatever right away.

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The new ‘countryside sounds and smells law’ aims to give more protection to existing farms from newly arrived residents in the area.

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cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/9448862

NASA found a stray, space-grown tomato that went missing for 8 months, clearing the astronaut they all thought ate it

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submitted 4 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

cross-posted from: https://kbin.social/m/[email protected]/t/685718

Pennsylvania’s Central Bucks School District was one of the places where Moms for Liberty lost big in the 2023 elections, with a right-wing school board majority swept out and replaced with Democrats. On Monday night, Karen Smith—who had been serving on the board in the Democratic minority prior to this election—was sworn in as the school board president, part of the wave of change from the anti-LGBTQ+, pro-book-banning board voted out in November. She made a powerful symbolic choice when it came to what book she’d be sworn in on: not the Bible or another religious book, but a stack of frequently banned books.

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cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/9210722

Donald Trump has said that he will not become a dictator if he becomes US president again except "on day one", after warnings from Democrats and some Republicans that the US was in danger of becoming an autocracy if he wins the 2024 election. Fuck, well at least he's honest on this statement

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PARIS: Urbanites seeking peace and quiet in the bucolic French countryside will have more difficulty in taking farmers to court over crowing roosters, mooing cows and stinking pigs in the future after parliament passed a new law, reported German news agency (dpa).

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Previous title apparently :

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Dec 4 (Reuters) - A kangaroo that escaped its handlers during transport to a new home was captured on Monday east of Toronto after a weekend in the wild, but not before delivering a punch in the face to one of the police officers who brought her run to an end.

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Time magazine: "we don't know how yet, but we're gonna find a way to link the rise of fascism and avocado toast"

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Members of a French motorcycle group against bullying are charged with threats to headteacher.

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Not The Onion

57 readers
70 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 6 months ago
MODERATORS