Asklemmy

Lemmy is good just because of this post

Nothing screams comedy quite like a man refusing to shit for three days.

Sherlock emerges from the shadows of his contemplation, his penetrating gaze alight with a glimmer of the mind's razor-edged acuity, dancing over the hushed assembly.

"Ah, a conundrum indeed! But the game is afoot, my good fellows. Let us untangle this web of mystery step by step."

He begins to pace, his long fingers steepled in front of him, his sharp gaze distant.

"Firstly, we must examine the peculiar constraints Mizu has imposed upon himself. He wishes to abstain from the natural act of defecation for three days, intending to consume food that occupies minimal space, while also reducing perspiration. He will stay in a well-equipped tent, with access to adequate sanitation should the need arise, yet he insists he will resist such necessity."

He stops, turning sharply on his heel to face the crowd, the dramatic swish of his coat filling the silence.

"Despite these restrictions, Mizu explicitly denies embarking on a hiking trip or attempting to smuggle contraband. Yet he is engaged in a journey of some kind, returning to his place of origin before embarking on the same route again."

He taps his forehead lightly, his gaze thoughtful.

"The desire to limit perspiration indicates a need to control body odor and moisture - potentially to avoid detection or discomfort. The same logic may apply to his endeavor to restrict bowel movement. This points to a need to stay confined in a small, potentially shared, space for extended periods."

He turns away, pacing once more as he traces the threads of the narrative.

"His choice of diet - minimal and compact - suggests a limited ability to dispose of waste. This, coupled with the significant investment in a large, air-conditioned tent, speaks of a measure of affluence, yet a necessity to live in a manner that does not align with this status."

He spins around, eyes gleaming with realization.

"Consider the pattern of his journey. It is repeated, yet with a sojourn at his original location - a pause that allows for the resumption of normal bodily function."

He points at the crowd, his voice ringing out with certainty.

"Mizu, my dear audience, is not embarking on a mere trip. He is engaging in a performance, a role that demands these unusual conditions. But what performance could that be? Think, ladies and gentlemen, of an endeavor that requires one to remain in a compact, enclosed space for days, sharing it perhaps with others, yet intermittently returning to a home base."

His voice drops to a hush, his eyes intense.

"A role that demands a significant investment in a temporary abode but necessitates confinement in close quarters. A role where control of bodily functions and odors becomes vital. And what is that role, you ask?"

He raises his arms, his voice echoing dramatically in the silence.

"Mizu, ladies and gentlemen, is partaking in a competitive reality television show or a similar endeavor. A program that demands participants to live in close proximity, often in limited spaces like a train compartment or a shared tent. This necessitates careful control over body functions to minimize discomfort. The mid-journey return to his origin represents a break in the filming schedule, allowing him to revert to his normal physiological routines before starting the second leg of the journey."

He sweeps his arm out, his eyes twinkling with a triumphant gleam.

"There you have it, my dear fellows. A peculiar request, indeed, but quite understandable under the unforgiving lens of reality television. Not as mundane as a hiking trip, not as nefarious as smuggling, but every bit as demanding."

In a survival situation, you can go a long time(weeks depending on how much body fat you have stored) without eating food. But- water is required.

Eating food, generally produces poop.

Vitamins, trail-mix, etc, can provide the required nutrients as well, while somewhat minimizing the amount of poop production.

Another note, it is possible to hold your poop for a very long time. Although, this can result in "Clogged pipes", which you do NOT want.

stop asking

Proceeds to then write a detailed timeline of the events that will occur. Either this is a joke or someone needs to be talked too by an adult and explained how the human body works.

Hey OP! Food In == Food Out

There’s no way around it.

I was here when this post happened.

Curiosity aside:

Pooping happens when the body needs to eliminate undigested waste. Almost everything that is edible has some amount of indigestible material, but some has far less than others.

The other important factor is the stimulation of bile release. This usually happens in the presence of bitter foods: dark leafy greens, pickles and other fermented foods, ect. Fats are also known to stimulate bile release. Biles primary function actually is to break down fatty acids. Even if youve eaten mostly bio-available nutrients, if your gallbladder gets stimulated you could end up on the toilet anyway.

So if your goal is to avoid pooping for several days, your ideal diet will avoid fibrous and bitter fruits and vegetables, and avoid fatty foods.

If it were me, I would eat lean meats (chicken or venison), possibly dried into jerky, and simple fruits, or juiced vegetables and fruits. The less food you eat generally, the more you'll avoid building up waste in your intestines.

Just a heads-up: if your succeed in your goal and don't poop for several days, your first poop after can possibly be, erm, explosive. Your gallbladder will likely continue accumulating bile during your poop-fast, and the first thing you eat that stimulates it's release may flood your small intestines. So plan your first meal carefully!

God speed.

Some armies use cheese to reduce frequency of bowel movements.

This is so fucking funny. It keeps reappearing in my all feed every day and reminding me.

Just leaving a comment to remember I was there when the 3 day no poop thing happened

Its over, Lemmy is big enough to be its own thing now. This post proves it...

OP I don't think this is what they meant when they said "don't be a party pooper"

I'm just glad I'm here to witness this lol

Anyways, wouldn't a liquid meal replacement do the trick? Something like Huel?

This is like some bizzaro 90's sitcom. "Quick, I need your help to not poop for 3 days! No time to explain!"

my guess is they are either getting their butthole pierced or tattooed, but I know that OP won't confirm. THat's just my guess here. I really hope it's not something more gross than that, but I can't handle that.

OP confirmed as drug mule

I'm proud to make this comment my first ever interaction (post, comment, or vote) on Lemmy.

Everything about this post is weird and hilarious.

Just keep pushing it back inside when it tries to come out.

The only thing that makes sense to me is that they are flying, not checking a bag and therefore they are unable to bring their poop knife.

I once survived 3 days without pooping at a festival. The secret was 15 liters of beer and ~ 9 cans of ravioli. But I peed A LOT.

Guess you're visiting the Titanic shipwreck in a submarine...

I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can’t take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

I mean, working overtime in Amazon is no shame

Keep that sphincter clenched tight! You got this.

You are either camping with other people or are in some kind of military activity. You don't want to poop because you are embarrassed of how it smells and the people you were with on a previous occasion gave you an extremely hard time over it. Did I guess right? Please, poop in a hole or something, whatever it takes

First of all, I was having a nice day until I read this. But alas, here's my two cents. Since you said you will be travelling, not eating will be a problem. Why? As other comments pointed out and as I went through this myself a few weeks ago(not intentionally, just financially dependent on irresponsible traumatised individuals who get to decide when/what/why I eat- I am working on it, don't worry), not eating for extended amounts of time gets you weird cramps and liquid poop. You don't want that, especially when you need to move. I don't know the environment you will be in, but aim to eat a bit those days, processed solid foods will do. Cheese, eggs, bread(bagels),plain pasta(ALREADY BOILED) if available. Avoid sugar in fairly large quantities(dehydrating), coffee(obvs), fruits, even vegetables. Your body will hate you for this, so when it's over please take it easy and eat&drink water properly. It's good that you will be moving, hopefully not too intense activity(because you'd need to eat/drink water properly) as that will distract your brain from wanting to eat/drink water.(again, sauce: former retail worker, wasn't done intentionally, I can't stress this enough. It just sorta happens). Make sure that you at least sleep and rest properly, and as others have pointed out, this isn't sustainable and not recommended by any means. Long term lack of nutrition fucks you up in ways I can't even begin to describe, take that shit from me. In the offchance you tattoo your asshole(and that you are one who has that tentacle tattooed on the asshole and are having it re done/touched up), you can simply wash after you poop, you don't have to go through this. Also you can try anti diuretic and anti liquid poop(for a lack of a better term) medicine. Looking foward for an update, hope you'll be ok.

Just poop as much as possible before leaving. For three days you can fast, it’s very much doable.

I was here when the 3 days without pooping post dropped.

This is where I would normally say !RemindMe in 3 days.

This is why I joined lemmy.