Asklemmy

You're putting so much effort to avoid pooping... but you should put the same effort into making sure that once this whole thing is over, there's a toilet you can sit on for a few hours without being interrupted. If I was you, I'd choose one in advance and call there for a reservation.

Give birth right before your trip

Did you sign an NDA?

I wonder how he will behave as soon as the first thing the date does in the tent is, unceremoniously, going for a poop.

Op is gonna meet their stinky penpal in person and wants to save a special gift for when they get together, how romantic 😍

I have a friend who was in the army and said they had to do 100+km training hikes. No one wanted to have to stop to poo so the first thing they did, before even starting, was to eat the block of cheese from their ration packs. They called it plug cheese.

Leaving a comment to be part of Lemmy history.

This post is gold. To parrot a couple others, anti-diarrhea medicine always locks me up for a day or two

This post is truly glorious, this should be the founding exhibit of the museum of Lemmy.

I am truly grateful to witness this moment.

In case OP is still with us, my advice would be anti diarrhoea medication, consume minimum liquids, avoid fibre, pack MREs which are often formulated to be a bit constipating. But above all, question why on earth you would be doing this in the first place!

You're going to end up needing a knife...

You're gonna need a bigger knife

It's called a low residue diet https://badgut.org/information-centre/health-nutrition/low-residue-diet/

Practicing for No Shit November I see.

Eat a full MRE the day before. Good luck ever pooping again.

Has anybody considered OP may be getting railed by a giant schlong?

Just don't eat anything. For three days you should be fine. If your stomach hurts just drink water.

Dude, I know you can't say why, but I sincerely hope you come back after your...excursion? And update us all with the results. And may e tell us why when you have the chance.

Just coming in here and saying you can't shit for 3 days. What on earth is this.

Are you planning to film one of those "shipping myself in a box" videos? 😭

please stop talking about how this post is going to be on lectures 10 years later and help this guy, he NEED help lmao

I'm pretty Sure you are a Woman going on a hike for multiple days and you don't want to poop in the wild? These problems sound quite familiar xD

Good luck winning that car!

I’m so happy I’m here!

If you don't wanna partake in illegals ie opioids, you can give immodium a shot. It's anti diarrhea stuff. Just take more than it says lol it will def stop you up. I would also just eat bare minimum. Trail mix or smth. Also drink less water.

The type of shit (or lack thereof) that I came here to subscribe.

This is the most upvotes I have seen on Lemmy so far! We gotta get this over 1k at least!

!RemindMe 7 days

You could try surviving on Soylent or an equivalent. It's the nutrients you need to stay alive and operating normally stripped down to the bare minimum (so less material for you to have to poop). It might be diluted in water but that could be minimised and that small amount would probably leave you though sweat/breath anyway.

I was here when the no-shit post jump started the popularity of this platform. My children will be so proud