I was here when the no-shit post jump started the popularity of this platform. My children will be so proud
this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
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Asklemmy
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Honestly, the edits didnβt clarify much. Iβm nearly as confused by this whole situation as I was the first time I read the post
This is the most upvotes I have seen on Lemmy so far! We gotta get this over 1k at least!
this is it. this is the critical point of quality the fediverse needed
I think this is for some sort of fanfic or roleplay, so:
Military food. If you want something old fashioned but not so bland like the european bread take a look at what paraguayan soldiers used during the three aliances war.
Get your bowels empty in the days leading up to it. So donβt eat. Anything. 2 days before you can relieve yourself start eating small amounts of protein.
Or, better yet, donβt even try to do this. Youβre very unlikely to succeed and therefore your effort is going into preventing an inevitable situation rather than figuring out how to deal with the inevitable problem once it arrives.
NOSHITGANG
I haven't seen any comments suggesting a plug, so I guess it'll be me. Try using a butt plug.
Canned tuna. It's very dry and almost all protein so most of it gets absorbed by the body and you'll be pooping neat little bricks.
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I was here witnessing lemmy history being made and I will probably die of curiosity if we do not get an update. I do not have any tips. I just hope that you come back safe and sound.
Just tell us the reason.
Iβd you can eat meat, beef jerky. Generally any high protein, low carb diet will be low output. Not sure about the sweating though.
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Honestly, If u dont want to poop and eat as little as possible i would consider fasting. If zero food is too intimidating - pack some nuts.
what the fuck. i need an update post
Lemmy history!
Just start taking Adderall. If you're anything like me, you will have to remind yourself to eat more than 500 calories a day and then you will find yourself questioning how many days it has been since you even felt the need to poop.
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Itβs been 6 days since the original post. OP was 3 days out from the poopless leg of his trip. OP, I hope everything went according to plan!
Please update when back!
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You said if we guess you'd confirm so here's my attempt.
Are you participating in like one of those TV competitions? Will you be filmed if you poop and that's why you'd rather not?
8/10 with rice