Flying Spaghetti Monster
Follow the Eight Condiments:
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"I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like A Sanctimonious, Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness."
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"I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others."
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"I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay?"
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"I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity."
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"I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach."
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"I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build Multi-million Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent on: Ending Poverty, Curing Diseases, Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable."
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"I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk To You."
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"I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot Of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (Pursuant To #4), then have at it.-