Not the Onion

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For news articles which seem so much like satire that you're surprised they're not from The Onion.

Rules
  1. Headlines must exactly match the articles'.
  2. Posts must be genuine news articles, not satire, opinion, or tabloid pieces.
  3. News must be current.
  4. Popular political, religious, or social views are not Oniony, no matter how ridiculous you may think them.

founded 1 year ago
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listing: all - local
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Eating ice lollies 'should be part of school curriculum', experts urge (news.sky.com)
submitted 3 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Chris Jones offers to pay $1.5 million to cover stolen chicken wings (www.nbcsports.com)
submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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'Zionism behind this': After disputed election result, Maduro blames Jews for Venezuelan crises (www.firstpost.com)
submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Okaloosa County suspect in spider’s death arrested (www.wkrg.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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An Okaloosa County woman was arrested Monday after she allegedly drowned her roommate’s pet spider, according to the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office.

According to an OCSO Facebook post, 43-year-old Ilena Renae Rasmussen of the Crestview area admitted she drowned her roommate’s pet jumping spider in ginger ale on July 15 at a home on Pansy Avenue. Prichard, Mobile County officials vow to end gang violence after 3 shootings within hours The pet jumping spider reportedly cost $70, and the owner could not find the spider or its enclosure.

Rasmussen faces misdemeanor animal cruelty and petty theft charges.

https://archive.ph/MYzPg

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Family court judge rules on twins' existence (www.bbc.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Woman caught with drugs in bag labeled 'Bag of Drugs' (inshort.geartape.com)
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Looking sharp: Italian gymnastics silver medalist sponsored by Parmesan cheese (abcnews.go.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Baby bird rescued in Texas Panhandle wrapped in a warm tortilla until wildlife experts arrived (www.khou.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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South Korean airport authorities crack down on Trader Joe’s bagel seasoning (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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John Hinckley Jr. says ‘violence is not the way’ after Trump shooting (thehill.com)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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John Hinckley Jr., the man who shot former President Reagan in a failed assassination attempt, denounced violence in the wake of the attempted assassination of former President Trump last weekend.

“Violence is not the way to go. Give peace a chance,” Hinckley wrote Wednesday on social platform X.

https://archive.ph/n6oxq

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Bronny James is the biggest winner of NBA Summer League (at the Call of Duty video game tournament) (ftw.usatoday.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Police hunt mayor accused of being Chinese spy (www.bbc.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Mom visiting son in juvenile detention cited for candy theft (www.kait8.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Mayor Adams unveils city's first official trash bins (ny1.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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French cyclist fined after stopping to kiss his wife at the Tour de France (www.cnn.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Leftover Ramen Broth Is Causing Problems on South Korea's Mount Halla (www.smithsonianmag.com)
submitted 1 month ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Thief told police ‘once you pop you can’t stop’ after stealing 17 tubes of Pringles (www.telegraph.co.uk)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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A Nigerian woman reviewed some tomato puree online. Now she faces jail (edition.cnn.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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North Korea accused of sending balloons carrying excrement into the South (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Uproar after Sydney bakery shares photo of four-year-old’s Hamas-themed birthday cake (7news.com.au)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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The Gouda, bad and ugly: NYC law student addicted to cheese went to nearly $6K-per-week rehab (nypost.com)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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‘I like sushi’ remark to Japanese colleague was not racist, judge rules (www.thetimes.co.uk)
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North Yorkshire Council to phase out apostrophe use on street signs (www.bbc.co.uk)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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Man’s body dragged into woods by bear after deadly crash on Mass. highway, state police say (www.boston25news.com)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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The 2025 Real ID deadline for new licenses is really real this time, DHS says (www.usatoday.com)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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