alt-text: "Ugh, and we JUST went through this yesterday with the javelin."

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’"‘”’" means "I edited this text on both my phone and my laptop before sending it"

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They originally came here to try to investigate our chemtrail technology, and got increasingly frustrated when all their samples turned out to just be water ice with trace amounts of jet exhaust.

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The worst was the time they accidentally held the can upside down and froze all the Earth's magma chambers solid.

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Although Kansas is widely thought to contain the geographic center of the contiguous 48 states, topologists now believe that it's actually their outer edge.

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We're right under the flight path for the scheduled orbital launch, but don't worry--it's too cold out for the rockets to operate safely, so I'm sure they'll postpone.

https://xkcd.com/2949

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If you repeatedly rerun the development of technological civilization, it turns out that for some reason the only constant is that there is always a networking utility called 'netcat', though it does a different thing in each one.

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An idling gas engine may be annoyingly loud, but that's the price you pay for having WAY less torque available at a standstill.

Link to original static webpage version: https://what-if.xkcd.com/53/

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In contrast to Pascal's Wager Triangle, Pascal's Triangle Wager argues that maybe God wants you to draw a triangle of numbers where each one is the sum of the two numbers above it, so you probably should, just in case.

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'Oh yeah? Give me 50 milliscore reasons why I should stop.'

https://xkcd.com/2945

In addition to eating foxes, rabbits can eat grass. The grass also eats foxes. Our equations chart the contours of Fox Hell.

https://xkcd.com/2944

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The ten-way tie was judged a ten-way tie, so no one won the grand prize, a rare fishing monopole.

https://xkcd.com/2943

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I'm an H⁺ denier, in that I refuse to consider loose protons to be real hydrogen, so I personally believe it stands for 'pretend'.

xkcd #2942: Fluid Speech

https://xkcd.com/2942

explainxkcd.com for #2942

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Thank you to linguist Gretchen McCulloch for teaching me about phonetic assimilation, and for teaching me that if you stand around in public reading texts from a linguist and murmuring example phrases to yourself, people will eventually ask if you're okay.

https://xkcd.com/2941

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It's believed that Golgi was originally an independent organism who was eventually absorbed into our cells, where he began work on his Apparatus.

xkcd #2940: Modes of Transportation

https://xkcd.com/2940

Explain xkcd #2940

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My bold criticism might anger the hot air balloon people, which would be a real concern if any of them lived along a very narrow line directly upwind of me.

https://xkcd.com/2939

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PERPETUALLY OPTIMISTIC CASE: Early in the execution, our research group makes a breakthrough on proving P=NP.

https://xkcd.com/2938

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Cosmologists estimate the spaghetti strand to be about 200 septillion calories, though it could be higher depending on the nutritional value of dark matter.

https://xkcd.com/2937

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Sorry to make you memorize this random string of digits. If it helps, it can also double as a mnemonic for remembering your young relatives' birthdays, if they happened to have been born on February 5th, 2018.

https://xkcd.com/2936

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Karpov's construction of a series of increasingly large rice cookers led to a protracted deadlock, but exponential growth won in the end.

https://xkcd.com/2935

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I can't believe they wouldn't even let me hold a vote among the passengers about whether to try the loop.

https://xkcd.com/2934

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Sometimes, you can tell Bloom filters are the wrong tool for the job, but when they're the right one you can never be sure.

https://xkcd.com/2933

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==COSMOLOGY==> 'Uhhh ... how sure are we that everything is made of these?'