this post was submitted on 11 May 2024
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AskBeehaw
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Where do you live and how safe do you feel there?
I've lived in many places in Europe and currently am in a small city in the Netherlands. I've also lived in a village in the Bible belt here.
I am not afraid of confrontations, and so far I've been able to handle them. But this is only with a specific kind of frustrated person. Most people are kind.
About half are supportive, and people even keep up to me in public to tell me about their support.
The other half is kind but will misgender me and deadname me if they know it. I've stopped caring and just don't become friends with them. Of course it always has an impact and it can create a lot of pain.
Edit:
I'd like to add that emotional safety plays a role.
That's why I can't spend time with some people. If for someone for example uses the wrong pronoun, then that is effectively invalidating me entirely. And it happens a lot, including in medical circles. I've been infantalized plenty of times. And I know that all women are deeply familiar with such experiences. But the solution is that I have to keep distance from such people.