Melbourne

Be very wary of the rage/anger at other people's denial of what seems clearly obvious to you. That can trip one up and start whole new rounds of unnecessary suffering - for the living.

Speaking here as someone who watched their long term partner (30 years plus) slowly fade out over 2 1/2 years, unconscious and probably brain dead after unsuccessful heart/stroke surgery. I would not hesitate to choose a quick resolution. Then you can let yourself grieve. I was fortunate in that this drawn out agony happened to me during the lockdowns, so I had no outside responsibilities that I HAD to get off my arse for. But the preceding year or so before lockdowns, when I had to pretend to be OK and keep up with things while not knowing when the situation would resolve - that was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. And every bastard that told me that I was fortunate that my partner was still alive - I would boil them in oil if I could remember their names. Possibly their children as well. My partner was NOT fortunate to be barely alive and unconscious/unresponsive. I wanted him back - as he should be, not as a - well - a vegetable. The day that a drug resistant staph infection took him out was both the worst and best day of my life so far. I still don't really know how I feel about that. Grief counselling can only do so much, but it does help a bit. At least then you know what everyone else expects of you and can adjust communications accordingly. One's real feelings take much longer to identify let alone resolve. And I made a sacred promise many years ago to never tell lies to myself. Conventional reactions and emotions can go to hell but are sometimes necessary to express to outsiders so that they go away and stop bothering you.